


I'm Right Here

by Niknaksstuff



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-07 08:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13430568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niknaksstuff/pseuds/Niknaksstuff
Summary: Jack O'Neill was encased in a stasis unit in 2004 - ten years have passed and he is still unconscious. Sam Carter wasn't prepared to let him go but she was forced to move on with her life. What (if anything) will the future have in store for them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set 10 years after Season 8’s “New Order” (2004). For the purposes of the story I am going with Sam having been born in 1968 and Jack in 1952. Therefore in 2014, Sam would be 46 and in 2004 Jack would have been 52.  
> I’d like to thank Fems for her help, advice and encouragement. I don’t have a beta therefore any mistakes (of which I’m sure there are many) are my own.  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters belong to their copyright franchise. Written for pleasure, not profit.

“I’ll take Jake to school then, shall I?” an irritated Pete Shanahan, shouted through the bathroom door.

“Ah, thanks, Pete. Yeah… I’m running late.”  

“You don’t say,” Pete muttered sarcastically under his breath, he wasn’t sure why he thought it would be any different today.  After all, it _was_ Tuesday. Every Tuesday (give or take) for the last ten years, things had been the same.

“Shall I pick us up something for dinner on the way home?” he tried once again to connect with his wife.

“ _Sam,”_ he finally barked, any remaining patience quickly slipping away when she didn’t reply. “Am I wasting my breath here?”

The bathroom door swung open and there in what could only be described as a flustered state, stood Samantha Carter.

“Sorry… did you say something?” Sam replied as she fiddled with the buttons on her dress blues, never once making eye contact with him.

“Forget it,” Pete sighed. “I’ll see you later.” He didn’t even bother to attempt a kiss, or ask her why she was all dressed up. He knew he was wasting his time. Tuesdays were a no go. He was _so_ way down the pecking order when it came to importance on a Tuesday. Hell, it seemed like he was less than significant any day of the week where she was concerned.

Finally, Sam looked down at her 8-year-old son and stooped to place a kiss on the top of his head. Stroking his cheek, she winked at the young boy, “See you later, flyboy. Have a good day at school.”

Without a further word, Pete hastily ushered his son out of the front door and into their car. Sam heard the engine start up and as soon as the car swept out of the drive she sighed with relief, a huge weight lifting from her shoulders. She took several deep breaths as the suffocating feeling that she battled with daily, began to dissipate.

Checking her watch, she was shocked to see that it was later than she expected it to be. After snatching a quick glance in the mirror to straighten her collar, she shut the door behind her and slid into her car. Starting the engine, she set off, knowing that she could make this journey in her sleep.

An unexpected meeting that had been arranged for her at the last minute, meant that she would be delayed in carrying out her usual Tuesday schedule. It had been preying on her mind all morning whilst she’d been getting ready and she knew that Pete had been irritated by her behaviour.

There had once been a time when she would have felt guilty about the hurt she was causing her husband, but that time had long since gone. She no longer tried to fool herself about her relationship with Pete. He had caught her at a vulnerable time when he had proposed to her. She had lost the two most important men in her life in a relatively short period of time and whilst she hadn’t immediately agreed to marry Pete, she _had done_ reluctantly, a few years later.

In the early days of their marriage, Pete had been a source of comfort but in the last few years they had grown further and further apart. Sam’s heart still belonged to another, a fact that Pete was painfully aware of.

She’d only missed her regular Tuesday visit a handful of times, usually when there had been some dire emergency and she was called back to the SGC to save the world once again.

She laughed bitterly to herself, she could save the world and had done so on numerous occasions, but she hadn’t been able to save the one thing that she had come to realise, meant even more to her than the world itself. Her eyes began to sting as the salty tears welled. She swiped at her face as her vision became obscured.

A piercing screech dragged her from her reverie and she twisted the steering wheel wildly, only avoiding a major collision by the skin of her teeth.

She shook her head to try and snap herself out of it. She was all he had. The last thing he needed, was for her to get herself killed. He would have very few visitors if she wasn’t around. Sure, Daniel would come when he could, but it wasn’t all that easy anymore.

After completing the journey without further incident, she parked her car in the parking lot at the Groom Lake Facility. She made her way inside and up to her lab on the third floor. The room bustled as her technicians worked on their allocated projects.

Sam had been relocated to Area 51 several years earlier.

After being promoted to Lieutenant Colonel by General Landry, she had taken charge of SG1. When she fell pregnant everyone, including herself, had been forced to reconsider her position on a front-line team.  The powers that be had been trying to coax her to the Research and Development Project at Area 51 for longer than she could remember. For reasons involving more than just her pregnancy, the timing seemed right and having convinced Pete that a move to Nevada would be the best thing for their family, they had done so, and he had secured a transfer to the Nevada police department relatively quickly.

Her meeting was scheduled for 9.00am, so she had just enough time to make it down to the canteen to grab some breakfast if she sorted out her files now. She rifled through her drawer trying to locate the correctly labelled buff coloured folder, which contained the report on the latest piece of alien technology that they had successfully managed to incorporate into their weapons systems.

As she pulled the folder from her drawer, a small rectangular photograph dropped to the floor underneath her desk. Grasping it tentatively she placed it on top of the folder. There in the photograph were Colonel O’Neill, herself and a very smug looking Daniel holding the alien device.

Her finger skimmed the edge of the photo where Jack was pictured, his hands tightly grasping his P90, alert and on the look out as he always was. She remembered the mission to P4S- 537 well and she recalled exactly why the Colonel was so twitchy. Teal’c had been the one chosen to take the photograph and he took what seemed like an eternity to get the best angle for the picture.  More often than not, she recognised the artefacts and technologies that she worked on and it gave her a great satisfaction to study pieces that she knew SG1 had procured. It was her link back to the SGC and a time that she could easily say had been the happiest of her life.

The creak of the lab door brought Sam back to the present and she slipped the photograph securely back under it’s clip and shut the cover of the file. Strangely, she no longer felt hungry, but she knew that if she was going to make it through what had all the potential of being a particularly onerous meeting, especially when she really wanted to be elsewhere, then she needed to eat at least something to give her the necessary stamina.

xXx

Five hours after setting foot in the briefing room, Sam emerged jaded and despondent. Her team had failed to secure the agreement they needed to commence testing the new weapon. The Joint Chiefs needed assurances as to the safety and cost of further developing the weapon and had agreed to review the project again in a further two months.

Sam pulled at her skirt which had already started to annoy her. She would have been much more comfortable in her BDU’s and the urge to change was strong, but she knew that her time was limited and she sure as hell wasn’t going to miss her visit.

After grabbing lunch on the hoof, Sam headed towards the medical centre of Area 51. She swiped herself through several security doors before approaching the reception desk.

“Good Morning, Colonel Carter,” the blonde-haired nurse behind reception chirped cheerily.

“Morning, Monica. How’s our patient today?”

“No significant changes, I’m afraid. Although…” the pretty nurse hesitated not knowing if she should be giving Sam any false hope.

“Yes?” Sam asked eagerly.

“Well… Dr Martinez did note that there had been some increased brain activity, but it was short-lived and I’m afraid Colonel O’Neill remains unresponsive.”

“Well, baby steps I suppose,” Sam tried to sound positive as she saw the look of sympathy in the woman’s eyes.

“I’ll buzz you through.” The nurse reached below the desk and a green light flashed on the adjacent door.

The room was white in colour and unusually devoid of medical equipment apart from the bare basics. There were no external monitors apart from those incorporated in the stasis unit. It had bothered her at first, how clinical and cold the environment was but she soon realised that it wouldn’t matter what the surroundings were like, she would still feel complete when she was near him.

Standing as close to the unit as possible, Sam placed her hand on top of the clear glass top. She looked down at the perfectly peaceful expression on the face of its occupier. She had lost him ten years ago and although it was, in reality, such a long time that she had been doing this, in some ways it was as if it were only yesterday. He looked no different than he had done ten years ago.

“Hello, Sir. I’m sorry I’m late. You wouldn’t _believe_ the meeting I’ve just had to sit through.” Pulling a nearby chair beneath her, Sam settled herself, her hand still resting on the top of his stasis unit.

“So, Monica tells me that they’ve actually found some activity in that brain of yours. I always told you that you couldn’t fool us forever.”

He didn’t reply, she hadn’t expected him to. For the last ten years, Sam Carter had spent as many Tuesday afternoons as she could with the man that she would always consider to be her Commanding officer. He was a man that she had looked up to and admired more than any other military officer she had known. He was also a man that, in his own words, she had cared about, far more than she was supposed to.

Their conversations were always one sided but if there was even the slightest chance that he could hear her, then she would continue to talk to him and tell him about the latest piece of alien technology that she had been working on and she had, over the years had to break the distressing news of those that had been lost to them.

The hours that she spent with Colonel O’Neill were amongst the most precious to her. Like the time she spent with her son. She knew that there were those who believed that she should have moved on with her life. Daniel was one of them. Even though she had to the outside world moved on. She had a husband and a family but those that really knew her, knew that she could not leave him behind. _He_ would never have left any of his team behind and whilst there was any glimmer of hope, she would never give up on him.

For that reason, she had lost touch with a lot of her old friends and comrades from the SGC. So much had changed in the last ten years but to all intents and purposes she was living in the past.

She spent the remainder of the afternoon telling him about the latest hockey results and against her better judgement she talked about Pete and how things weren’t going so well for them. She really had no one else to talk to. After Janet and her Dad had died she had looked to Daniel and sometimes Teal’c to confide in but once she moved to Nevada it seemed that it wasn’t so easy to keep in touch. Talking to Mark about Pete was not somewhere she wanted to go and so, every Tuesday, Jack became the unknowing recipient of her problems.

“So, I guess I should go,” Sam glanced at her watch and saw for the second time that day that it was later than she expected.

“Shit. Pete’s going to kill me. I think he was getting a take away on the way home. He’s probably given it to the dog by now,” she laughed weakly.

After returning the chair to its place by the wall, Sam stood beside the unit once again. She placed her hand on the glass where Jack’s chest lay and leaning over she whispered, “God, Sir, I miss you so much.”

It was all she could do to tear herself away. It was becoming harder and harder to leave him, but she had to, and she quickly headed back to her lab to finish up.

Back in the medical suite, Jack O’Neill’s eyes flickered as the monitor attached to the stasis unit once again recorded a sharp increase in brain activity.

xXx


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors notes and disclaimer as per first chapter.

_Over time, Sam Carter had come to admit to herself, that she really wished that it had been Daniel who had sacrificed himself by having the Ancient repository downloaded into his brain. She hated herself for it and she knew her thoughts were entirely selfish. She cared a lot about Daniel, he was like a brother to her. But with Jack, it wasn’t the same. The feelings she had for her CO were something entirely different._

_One of her biggest regrets had been that she hadn’t even been able to interact with Colonel O’Neill’s holographic image after Thor had interfaced his mind with the ship’s computers. Sam had been taken by Fifth and was oblivious to what had been happening on Thor’s ship. Of course, what she may or may not have said to him, she often played out in her mind. Her thoughts were full of “if onlys” but then that was exactly what their relationship had been built upon._

_Back at the SGC, she had discovered that Jack had once again saved the Asgard by constructing an ancient device which he ensured could be used not only by those that had the ATA gene. It had been used by Teal’c on the Replicator that Thor had transported aboard his ship and finally used to eradicate the threat against Orilla. Thor had wiped the Ancient knowledge from Jack’s brain but was unable to resuscitate him as he fell into an immediate coma. All that Thor could do was to ensure that SG1 were transported back to the SGC and that Jack’s stasis unit would sustain his life for the immediate future._

_The stasis unit had been monitored and maintained at the SGC for some time. After General Landry took over, he realised that mainly for Colonel Carter’s sake, it would be better if Jack was nearby. She had been distracted enough as it was when they had returned but he knew that it would be much worse for everyone concerned if Jack had been moved. Sam was now in charge of SG1 and had to be at the top of her game to continue to lead the elite unit._

_After eighteen months where there was absolutely no change in Colonel O’Neill’s condition, the medical team at the SGC had decided to try and remove the Colonel from the stasis pod. They figured that if he was only in a coma then he could be sustained using normal medical procedures, however, their attempt failed, and he had been hastily returned to the pod which appeared to be providing everything he needed to survive. Albeit, in a comatose state._

_It was uncertain whether there was still some Ancient knowledge present in the Colonel’s brain but without any further intervention from the Asgard, he would have to remain in stasis._

_At this point, General Landry had no other option than to agree under pressure to have Jack transferred to Area 51._

_The General noticed an almost instant change in his flagship team leader’s behaviour. She was distracted, and it was hard for him not to blame her erratic decisions on the fact that she was no longer able to see Colonel O’Neill. He’d had an idea that she held feelings for Jack, but he was also aware that Sam was one of the most professional officer’s that he knew._

_Sam’s pregnancy came as a surprise to many at the SGC including Sam herself. She had been so distracted that she had failed to compensate for the fact that she’d had a stomach upset which had lasted over a week, which must have interfered with her contraception. And so, she had fallen pregnant with Pete’s baby._

_She would never have seriously considered an abortion but when she realised that there could be other advantages to having the baby then there was really no decision to make._

_By her own admission, her days of going off world would be over when she had a child. And so, when General Landry informed her of the offer to move to Area 51, she had jumped at the chance._

xXx

It had been a long day. Her meeting with the Joint Chiefs had been a pain in the ass and she had spent longer than she should have visiting Colonel O’Neill, not that she regretted it for one minute.

She finally got home at 9.00pm. As she drew the car into the driveway her heart began to pound. She knew that Pete would be fuming.

Summoning up the courage, she took a deep breath to steady herself and then put the key in the lock. She turned it slowly and then threw the bunch of keys down on the table by the door. In the direction of the kitchen she could hear Pete talking to their son. She kicked off her shoes and then padded towards the sound of chatter.

“Hey,” she greeted them, in as upbeat a voice as she could muster.

“Oh look, Jake. Your Mom has _finally_ decided to grace us with her presence!” Pete threw Sam a glance that left her under no illusion that she was in big trouble.

Jake ran to his Mom and gave her a huge hug. “I won’t ask why you’re still up…” Sam whispered in his ear, “but I’m glad you are.” She squeezed him tightly and then pushed him gently by the shoulders toward the stairs.

“Up you go, teeth brushed, and face washed, then I’ll come and tuck you in.”

Sam turned back towards Pete as Jake skipped up the stairs. She opened her mouth to explain but before she could utter any words he held up his hand pompously.

“Don’t bother. I’ve heard the excuses before. You better go and sort Jake out and I’ll stick your dinner in the oven,” he ordered as he turned and flounced back into kitchen.

Sam decided it would be better to let him cool off, so she went upstairs to change and settle Jake into bed.

By the time she came back down stairs, Pete was sitting at the kitchen table with a beer in his hands. She hoped it was only his first. He wasn’t a big drinker and she knew that his mood would only be worsened by alcohol.

A dry looking plate of food lay on the work surface and Sam decided that it was better to sit down and eat the takeaway that he’d brought home, rather than add insult to injury by throwing it in the trash. Armed with cutlery she sat down opposite Pete. He looked across the table at Sam and began picking at the label on his bottle of beer.

“Busy day?” Pete finally asked, staring at Sam as she continued to eat.

“Hmmm, yep, kind of,” Sam replied casually, in between a mouthful of food.

“So… why the dress uniform today? Who were you out to impress?” he continued to needle her.

Sam stopped eating and looked at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it isn’t every day you get all dressed up and it’s not like that Colonel of yours would know anything about it,” Pete smirked.

“I didn’t think it would be long before you brought Colonel O’Neill into this, but I have to admit, you’ve broken your record this time,” Sam sneered at him, the contempt evident in her voice.

“What do you mean?”

“It usually takes you at least half a dozen insults before you bring his name into it.” Sam threw down her knife and fork onto the plate and stood, pushing her chair back sharply.

“What do you expect,” Pete spat. “I’m playing second fiddle to a man in a coma.”

Sam could feel her hackles rising but they’d had this argument so many times that it was almost laughable.

“You’re seriously jealous of the fact that I visit him once a week?” Sam laughed.

“Once a week _for the last ten years_ , Sam and yes, maybe I am jealous but perhaps it’s because your comatose Commanding Officer has more of a relationship with you than I do.” He stood sharply and went to the fridge to grab another beer.

Sam was at his side before he could blink and she pushed the fridge door shut before he could lay his hands on a bottle. “You’re acting like a real jerk, you do know that, don’t you?”

“ _I’m_ acting like a jerk? Are you serious?” Pete laughed sarcastically.

“Yeah, I am serious.” Sam’s hand remained firmly on the fridge door.

“You know, the only jerk around here is _you_. He isn’t going to wake up, you do know that don’t you. I don’t know why they don’t just pull the plug, he’d be better off dead and then we could all get on with our lives.”

He shouldn’t have been so shocked by the sharp sting that spread across his right cheek. Sam stood in front of him shocked more by her instant reaction to his words than by his insensitive comments.

Tears began to sting, and she turned away from him and leaned heavily against the table.

“Sam, I’m… I’m sorry.” It was a low blow on his part and one that she probably didn’t deserve. He was jealous of what was ostensibly a dead man and that said more about his own insecurities than it did about her loyalties.

Very calmly, she turned to face him. “We can’t do this anymore. _I_ can’t do this anymore.”

Pete stared at her blankly. “Look, I shouldn’t have said…”

“No, you shouldn’t, but you do, every time and I’ve had enough of it.”

“So… what are you saying,” he shrugged.

“I’m saying I need some space. Some time to think. I think we both need that,” Sam said calmly as she sat down once again.

“Are you saying you want me to leave?”

“I think maybe it might be for the best, just until we can work out what we both want.”

Pete began to get angry. “I know what _I_ want. I want my wife and my kid. It’s as simple as that. But what do _you_ want Sam… what do you _really_ want.”

It would have been so easy to tell him that what she really wanted was for Jack to wake up. To tell him that Jack was a hundred times the man that he would ever be and that if she could have her time again she wouldn’t have wasted it. She would have told Jack exactly how she felt about him. She wouldn’t have insisted that they lock their feelings away in that damn room.  Then maybe, just maybe, things would have been different. Maybe Jack would still have been here, maybe she would never have felt pressured into marrying Pete just because she’d fallen pregnant and maybe Jake would actually have been Jack’s son.

“I want you to go.”

There it was. The thing that Sam had known for such a long time. She didn’t love Pete anymore. She was fooling them both by trying to keep their relationship going.

Stunned, Pete headed towards the stairs. Strangely he had no fight left in him. After about ten minutes, he came back down with a hold all slung over his shoulder.

“I’ll go stay at Eric’s. He owes me a favour.” That was all he needed to say. Sam nodded and watched as the door closed behind her husband.

xXx


	3. Chapter 3

_“Sir… SIR!” she pleaded with him._

_“His pulse is erratic,” she desperately looked towards the rest of the team for some help._

_“Don't you dare leave us now. We won.” She took his chin gently between her fingers and turned his face towards her. “Colonel.”_

_The anxious look from Daniel and Teal’c confirmed her worst fears… he wasn’t going to make it._

_“Please, Jack,”_

_“Dolmata,” Jack whispered weakly and Daniel gestured towards a large standing capsule._

_Teal’c gently lifted Jack and placed him inside._

_As the lights sparked to life, Sam began to panic. “Now what?”_

_“Aveo… amacus.” Jack sighed._

_“Goodbye,” Daniel translated the Colonel’s words as a shield surrounded the stricken man and the lights on the capsule faded out._

_“We can't just leave him like this. I mean, there has to be a way to reverse the process. The answer has to be here somewhere,” Sam pleaded desperately._

Half asleep, she could feel her heart beat rapidly, her chest tightening painfully. Tossing and turning, the sweat soaked sheets twisted with her, she subconsciously felt as if she was being bound tightly. Taken prisoner. As the fear gradually relaxed its grip, she drifted back to sleep.

_They prepared to leave just as Sam heard an almighty hammering and the terrified cries of her Commanding Officer. “Where are you going, please… you can’t leave me here. Jesus, get me out of this thing.” Jack thumped against the force shield that held him in place. He kicked out and then dropped to the floor exhausted in a crumpled heap._

_Daniel grabbed her as she tried to run back towards Jack. “You’ve got to forget about him, Sam. You’ve spent too many years of your life fantasizing about something you can never have,”_

_“Daniel?” confused, she struggled to break free of the vice like hold he had on her arm. “But he’s not speaking in Ancient anymore, he’s okay, we have to get him out of there.”_

_Sam looked across at Teal’c for some support but he just started to laugh uncontrollably. Daniel then joined him as they both restrained her and dragged her towards the daylight_

_“He’s a dead man, Sam. You have to start living in the present,” Daniel growled unkindly, as he pulled her forcibly and all she could hear were Jack’s distraught cries as they abandoned him._

Waking in a panic, Sam glanced across at the clock on her bedside table. It was 2.30am. She was breathing heavily but settled back down and stared up at the ceiling. She’d been dreaming but it was so vivid that she thought she was really back at the ancient outpost. Before long, her eyelids fluttered shut once again and her restless slumber continued.

_The room was bathed in a blinding light and was full of monitors beeping and blinking in a disjointed rhythm. In the middle was the stasis unit surrounded by nurses, doctors and security guards and there, right at the centre of them all, stood Pete. To Sam’s horror, the nurses were pleading with him to stop as he tried to wrench the top off the unit. She wanted to intervene, but she couldn’t, it was as if she was just an onlooker as the scene unfolded before her._

_Pete continued to pull at the lid but when it wouldn’t budge he decided to try a new approach. He grabbed a chair and began slamming it down on top of the lid. Still he didn’t succeed in smashing the unit. As a last resort he sought out the power supply and tugged it free. The others just stood around apparently unable or unwilling to do anything to stop him. Suddenly, Monica, the nurse that Sam knew lunged forward towards Pete. Before she could do anything else, Pete had grabbed her by the shoulders and thrown her across the room. He turned and as he did, his eyes flashed wildly._

_Within the unit, Jack began to convulse. Violent spasms wracked his body until he suddenly stilled._

_As the security guards finally restrained Pete he began to laugh like a maniac._

_The doctors returned the power to the stasis unit, but it was too late. Sam heard them confirm Jack’s time of death and then she felt herself begin to lose control. She shouted towards Pete, but he seemed oblivious to her. “You bastard, you complete bastard… why… why did you have to do it.”_

Sitting up suddenly, Sam realized that tears were streaming down her face. She was shaking uncontrollably and felt as if she was about to have a panic attack. However, she also became aware that she wasn’t on her own in her bedroom. There by her bed stood her son. He looked scared as he stared at her with wide eyes.

“Mom,” Jake whispered.

Sam continued staring straight ahead, she was disorientated and still shaken by the dream.

“Mom, you were shouting, are you okay?” the boy whispered again in a shaky voice.

This time Sam became fully aware of her son’s presence. After taking several deep breaths, she relaxed and pulled her knees up to her chest and cradled herself. “Yes, Jake, I’m okay, it was just a bad dream.”

Jake hopped up onto the bed and sat beside her. He reached out to hold her hand.

“Mom… where’s Dad?”

Sam lifted the covers so that he could get into bed with her and then she wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

“Dad had to go and stay with a friend last night.” She decided to keep her explanation simple.

“Is it because you were fighting,” he asked curiously.

“We weren’t fighting. Jake,” Sam sighed. The last thing she wanted was to upset her son any more than she already knew he would be.

“But I heard you shouting,” the boy persisted.

 

“Sometimes Moms and Dads don’t always get along as well as they should and when that happens, well… they have to spend a little bit of time away from each other.”

“Will Dad come back? He said that he’d come to my game on Friday.”

“Yes, I’m sure he will, sweetie. Now, it’s time to go and get ready for school,” Sam lifted the covers again so that he could slip out.

She was still very shaken from the dream and decided that she would pay the Colonel a visit later in the day, even though she’d only just seen him. She tried to limit it to once a week, but sometimes, when things were particularly tough, either at home or at work she would fit in an extra visit.  She knew people talked but she didn’t care anymore. There had been speculation over her relationship with Jack O’Neill from the very beginning. She only wished now that there had been some substance to the rumors instead of regret at the fact that they never acted on their feelings.

Jake got dressed quickly and came down for his breakfast. They ate in silence; the young boy having realized that his mother wasn’t really in the mood for talking. She dropped him off at school and then managed to get to Groom Lake just in time for her 9.30 briefing.

xXx

After a quick lunch, she headed for the medical suite and was relieved to see that it was Monica on duty again. For some reason she just knew that Monica understood. She was never judgmental, and she always made sure that Sam wasn’t interrupted when she was visiting Jack.

“Hello, Colonel. I didn’t think we’d see you again so soon,” Monica smiled kindly.

“I know, I just needed to come today,” Sam explained, as she shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m glad you did actually because there was definitely some more recorded brain activity after you left yesterday. Dr Martinez thinks it could be quite significant.”

“Really? That’s great news. But… why would it happen now, after all this time?” Sam sometimes wished she knew more about Jack’s condition and it made her think more and more about Janet and how if she’d still been around she would have been able to explain everything to her.

“I don’t think they really know but _something_ must be triggering a response in him. A stimulus of some kind. I don’t want to raise your hopes, but it could mean that he is slowly coming out of his coma… of course we don’t _really_ know that he’s even in a coma.” Monica smiled apologetically. It was obvious that the woman wished that there was more she could do.

Sam was buzzed through the door and she warily entered the cold clinical room. For a split second she thought she might find the room filled with equipment and people just as it had been in her dream but thankfully, all she found, was Jack.

“Hey,” she greeted him wearily and pulled the chair over.

It always amazed her how he didn’t look any different. She smiled at his silver-grey hair which stuck up at odd angles like it always had done. His face was peaceful as if he was just sleeping and she allowed herself to think back to a time when she had been able to watch him sleeping next to her, as they had shared a tent off world. He was so damn handsome. She’d always thought so. Even when they’d first met and he had been so impossibly arrogant, the attraction had been there even then. She had tried to deny it to herself, but she knew that she had failed miserably. His lips were so perfect, she’d often found her eyes drifting down to watch them as he talked, and she knew that he noticed by the lopsided grin that would spread across his lips. It was so long since she’d looked into his deep chocolate brown eyes. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul and it was never truer than in the case of Jack O’Neill. He wasn’t a talker, never had been but what he didn’t say, his eyes expressed better than any words could.

“You need to fight, Jack. You _really_ need to fight.” Sam slumped forward in the chair and put her head in her hands. It was only now that she had actually stopped to think about what was happening between her and Pete.

“I really wish you were here. I need to talk to you. It’s all gone to hell, Jack. I don’t love him anymore. I’m not sure that I ever loved him. He was there and I was lonely, I was _so_ fucking lonely without…” Sam looked up at Jack and could see the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“He’s left… and I don’t want him back. Jake needs him in his life but… I don’t. I finally realized that there’s only one man I want.” She would give anything for him to be aware of her. For him to be able to hear what she was finally about to admit.

“I don’t care anymore about what anybody thinks, you and Jake are the only ones that matter,” her head fell to her hands again and she ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to muster the courage to admit her feelings.

“Please, Jack. I know you’re in there and I’m right here, I always have been… I love you… shit, I wish I’d told you over a decade ago,” Sam cursed and leaned forward putting her forearms on the top of the unit. She rested her head on her arms and stared through the glass top.

“Wake up, Jack, please wake up. I love you… so...” Her words trailed off, she was so tired after her tormented night and her eyes slipped shut, as the steady thrum from the unit soothed her to sleep.

_But you'll never be alone_   
_I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_   
_I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_   
_Baby, I'm right here_

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics are from “Dusk Till Dawn” by Zayn Malik and Sia.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam was vaguely aware of someone nudging her shoulder.

“Colonel Carter _… Colonel_.”

She was so tired but as she slowly opened her eyes, there was Monica hovering over her.

“Colonel, your husband’s been trying to get hold of you. I have him on the reception line,” Monica smiled softly.

Sam sat up, she was aching all over after having been hunched on Jack’s stasis unit for the best part of a couple of hours.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you’d fallen asleep or I would have woken you ages go.”

Sam smiled at the nurse, “It’s not your fault Monica. I had a bad night last night, I guess I just needed to catch up. I better go and take that call.” Sam took one more glance towards Jack and then made her way to reception.

After taking a deep breath, she picked up the phone. “Hey…” but before Sam could continue, Pete interrupted her with a tirade.

“The school rang... where are you... actually, don’t answer that, I have a pretty good idea. Jesus Sam, you didn’t turn up for Jake.”

Realisation dawned on Sam that because of her impromptu nap, it was far later than it should have been, “Crap, I’m sorry, I... I got tied up at work and lost track of time,” she mumbled.

“Yeah sure.”  Pete replied, less than convincingly but he was reluctant to get into yet another argument. “I’ll take him home, fix him something to eat.”

“Thanks, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” There were no excuses, she couldn’t deny that she’d really cocked it up this this time.

xXx

  
“Hey Mom,” Jake greeted Sam breezily, as she walked through the door and threw her bag down beside the stairs.

“Told you Dad would be back,” the boy smiled cheerfully as he ran and gave her a huge hug.

Sam and Pete both glanced at each other warily, trying to weigh up the other’s thoughts.

“Why don’t you go and do your homework while your Dad and I talk.” The young boy did as he was told and went straight up to his room.  
  
Sam started tidying the kitchen, anything to avoid the inevitable confrontation, while Pete stood in an awkward silence.

Finally, Sam turned to face her husband, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to pick Jake up.”

“Yeah, me too,” Pete said in a voice that Sam knew only too well would lead to an argument.

“Look Pete, I don’t want another fight. Jake heard us the other night and he’s worried.”

“And you think I want us to fight. _I’m_ not the one causing this Sam.”

He had a point. He hadn’t really done anything wrong. It wasn’t his fault that he would never come close to filling Jack O’Neill’s boots.

“Where were you?” Pete snapped.

“Is it really important?” Why couldn’t he just leave it be, she thought.

“Yeah, I think it is. I need to hear it from _you_ ,” Pete persisted.

Sam looked up at the ceiling. If only the Asgard were still around to beam her out of the situation, she thought. “I was just caught up at work… I told you.”

” If it was just _that_ , you’d have called me and asked me to pick Jake up.”

“Jesus, Pete. You never let things go do you? I get it right, I’m a bad parent, I’m feeling the guilt trip. You should be happy.”

Pete stepped forward and grasped her upper arms. “The only way I’ll be happy is if I can come back and be with you and Jake.”

Sam immediately took a step backwards out of his grasp until her back bumped against the work top.  “I’m sorry,” she shook her head lightly.

Pete turned away as he felt the anger bubbling inside him. He took deep even breaths because he was acutely aware that his son was more than likely sitting at the top of the stairs, listening to their conversation, and he didn’t want to shout and scare him.

“So... that’s it. We’re just giving up?”

“I don’t know what else to say, Pete. I can’t live a lie. It’s not fair on you or Jake.”

“This really is about him isn’t it. It always has been. If he’d still been around you’d never have been with me, would you?”

Sam looked pleadingly at Pete. She didn’t want to hurt him anymore.

Pete sighed and turned towards the door. “I promised to watch Jake’s game on Friday. So I might take him to get something to eat and then drop him home later… if that’s okay with you?”

Sam nodded, the last thing she wanted was to keep Pete away from Jake. She knew they adored each other and Pete was a good Dad. It was just that he would never be everything that she needed him to be.

“But Sam,” Pete said firmly, “…we need to sit down and talk. I’m not just gonna give up, you should know that.”

Sam was sure that he hadn’t meant it as a threat, but she couldn’t help but take it that way. Maybe it was just the way she was feeling lately.

The door closed behind him and Sam locked it before turning and leaning heavily against the oak panels.

xXx

The feeling that Jack O’Neill was experiencing wasn’t completely new. There had been many times when he’d been drugged or kept in an unconscious state while his memories were either manipulated or he was still aware of things happening around him. For some reason though all he remembered now were snippets of conversations, mainly with his second in command. The details were vague, but he knew that she wasn’t happy. In fact, she was almost desperate. Frustration was building in him because for some reason he couldn’t do anything about it. He had no concept about time and knew that he wasn’t existing as a normal human being.

He wished he’d asked Daniel to explain more to him about what it was like to be ascended. Maybe that was what had happened. The last concrete thing he remembered was standing in front of one of those damn Ancient face sucking contraptions. Perhaps the Ancient knowledge had literally blown his mind and this was his “life” now.

He seemed to be experiencing the odd flashback as well. But the things he was seeing he had a feeling hadn’t actually happened, at least not whilst he was around. He was sure that they had defeated the replicators, but what about the Goa’uld. He couldn’t be sure about them… goddam Snakeheads.

Sometimes he was vaguely aware of other people. He could hear muffled conversations and he just seemed to know that they were talking about him. He tried his hardest to communicate but it was as if he was trapped in some way. He knew what he wanted to say but he couldn’t voice the words. He couldn’t even open his eyes.

Just recently, it seemed that he was hearing Sam Carter more and more. This was what made him believe that she was in some sort of trouble. Pete’s name was mentioned a lot. He remembered Pete. Sam had been seeing the cop, much to his disappointment but of course he hadn’t been able to do anything about it, in fact he had been trying his hardest to convince himself that Pete was good for her.

But however hard he tried to think positive thoughts, he always came back to his original judgment, that Pete was in fact a rat bastard that wasn’t anywhere near good enough for her.

Maybe they were going through a sticky patch. That was probably it. She’d make up with him and the loser would probably end up proposing to her. That thought just made him feel grouchy and it wasn’t until he was aware of Sam there again that he snapped out of his mood.

For more years than he cared to remember, he had admired her. He had to use that word – _admired_ \- because if he used the actual word that came to mind when he thought of her, he’d be in a whole heap of trouble.

There had been times when he’d come close to telling her how he really felt but then he’d remembered that it was down to him as her Commanding Officer to do the right thing. He never wanted to be the reason why she would throw away her career. He didn’t give a damn about himself, but it seemed that the powers that be weren’t prepared to let him retire and do it right.

They’d left their feelings in that room all those years ago. He wished now that he’d told her that he wasn’t okay with that, but he’d been the good soldier and he’d played by the rules.

_Pete’s not happy… staying with a friend… he’s angry… won’t take no for an answer._

The words swirled in his mind as he could sense her close to him.

_Can’t do it anymore… asked him to leave… living a lie… feel suffocated… need to get out._

“I’m here, Sam, I’m right here,” he tried to tell her, but he couldn’t. His chest became constricted and felt as if a huge stone had been placed right in it’s centre.

The internal monitor on the stasis unit started to beep alarmingly. Sam watched in horror as the heart rate rose above 100… 106… 107… 110.

Sam slammed her hand against the emergency buzzer and within minutes the room was filled with nurses and technicians. They worked to stabilise Jack as Dr Martinez was paged.

Jack’s eyelids began to flicker and Sam pushed her way through to look down on him.

“It’s okay, Jack, you’re not on your own but you need to calm down… please,” Sam pleaded with him.

No one could be sure that it was Sam’s words that had calmed him but his vital signs did indeed begin to stabilize. Dr Martinez arrived just as the worst was over and he assured Sam that this was probably just another indication that Jack was beginning to fight. However, he also told Sam that she might have to prepare herself for the possibility, that Jack’s body was finally failing him after over a decade in stasis. They had never experienced such a thing before and therefore they had nothing to compare Jack’s condition against.

Once Sam was finally convinced that Jack was comfortable again, she made her way back to her lab to finish up. The last few days had gone quickly and had been relatively uneventful. She knew that she couldn’t be late getting home, not tonight. Pete was watching Jake at his game and then he’d be dropping him home after getting something to eat.

_“But Sam… we need to sit down and talk. I’m not just gonna give up, you should know that.”_ An involuntary shudder swept over her as she remembered what Pete had said. He had never been a violent man, so she wasn’t worried that he would do anything to harm either Jake or herself, but he _was_ a persistent man. He wasn’t going to roll over easily and admit defeat, he would fight for them or at the very least he would fight for Jake. A life without her son didn’t bear thinking about.

Deep in thought, it was her chief technician saying goodnight that jolted her out of her daydream.

“Oh… night, Phil, see you on Monday. Have a good weekend.” And with that Sam packed away her files and logged off her laptop.

xXx

The ride home was just what she needed. She was on her bike and she allowed herself to go just that little bit too fast. It was exhilarating, and it blew away the cobwebs. She wondered how Jake had done in his baseball game and was looking forward to seeing him. She’d also sorted her head out and felt in a much better frame of mind to have the inevitable discussion with Pete. They were both adults and she felt sure that they would be able to come to some sort of agreement.

As Sam pulled into her street she noticed a patrol car waiting outside her house. She coasted up her drive and took off her helmet placing it on the seat of the bike. Within seconds, two uniformed officers got out of the patrol car and headed her way.

“Samantha Carter?” the female Officer asked.

“Err, yes, I’m Samantha Carter. Is there some sort of problem?”

“Do you think we can come inside. I know that you’ve just got home but…” the older, male Officer began to speak but Sam cut him off.

“What’s wrong?” she began to feel her throat get tight, as she knew that something bad had happened.

“If we can just go inside, Ma’am, I think it would be better if we could all take a seat,” the older Officer spoke and gently took hold of Sam’s elbow, guiding her towards the front door.

_Can you feel where the wind is_  
Can you feel it through  
All of the windows  
Inside this room

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from the song "Dusk Till Dawn" by Zayn featuring Sia.


	5. Chapter 5

 

  _“If we can just go inside, Ma’am, I think it would be better if we could all take a seat,” the older Officer spoke and gently took hold of Sam’s elbow, guiding her towards the front door._

xXx

Dazed and confused, Sam gestured for the Officers to take a seat and she carefully lowered herself down into the chair.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Ms Carter, but we believe that your husband and a young boy have been involved in an accident,” the female officer spoke quietly and calmly.

Sam sat in silence not saying a word, apparently unable to take in what she had just been told.

“Am I right in thinking that you have a Nissan Pathfinder?” the male officer asked.

“Err, yes, that’s Pete’s car… he was picking Jake up tonight after his baseball game. But, you said an accident. Where _are_ Pete and Jake?”

The Officers could tell that Sam was clearly in shock and not really taking in what they were attempting to tell her.

“I’m sorry, but we believe that your husband was killed instantly in the crash,” the female officer went to sit next to Sam on the sofa.

“Is Jake your son?” she asked as she put her arm around Sam’s shoulders.

Sam nodded weakly, unable to digest the words that were coming from the two Officers.

“Well, your son has been taken to hospital. He’s okay but he is suffering from some broken bones, shock and possible concussion.”

“Oh my God…” Sam’s head fell to her hands and she began to shake. “This is all my fault.”

“Please… Ms Carter. From the initial reports it appears that a truck pulled out of the junction and hit the car side on. There’s nothing that your husband could have done and your son is extremely lucky. The blame would appear to lie totally with the truck driver, but of course there will have to be an official investigation.”

“You don’t understand. We had an argument, I told him to leave.  He was probably distracted.” Sam was rambling, and the officer took hold of her hands.

“Please, Ms Carter…”

“It’s _Colonel_ Carter,” Sam snapped, irrationally.

“I’m sorry… _Colonel Carter_. There really was nothing that your husband could have done differently.”

“Jake… I need to see Jake. Which hospital did they take him to?” Sam was becoming desperate now and the officer sitting beside her had to place her hands on her shoulders to keep her from standing.

“We’ll take you to the hospital, please don’t worry about that but I’m afraid we also need you to identify your husband.”

Sam nodded. She knew what needed to be done. It had happened so many times at the SGC and she always wondered how General Hammond had dealt with it in the detached way that he did.

“Your husband is at the same hospital as your son. Is there anyone that you’d like to call to be with you?” the female officer asked.

Sam sighed as she knew that there was no one that she could call on. She really wished there was but Mark was too far away and the only other person who could give her the type of support she needed may as well have been dead. For some irrational reason she found that she was angry with Jack. He wasn’t there when she needed him and she blamed herself for the whole thing because of her obsession over him.

“No, there’s nobody. Can we please go… I’d like to see my son.”

xXx

She felt as if she was trapped inside some horrific nightmare. After being escorted into a room that smelled like antiseptic, the mortuary assistant pulled back the sheet to reveal Pete Shanahan’s battered face. The sight shook Sam a lot more than she expected. Even though she had been warned that there were extensive facial injuries, she never for one-minute thought that it would be so severe. It was no wonder that he had been killed instantly and she was thankful that he hadn’t suffered. He didn’t deserve to suffer. He had been a good father and he had tried to be a good husband, but she’d never really given him the chance.

“Yes, that’s my husband,” Sam confirmed emotionlessly and then turned towards the door.

“I can stay with you for a while,” the female officer offered kindly, “Then I’ll take you back home.”

“It’s very kind of you but I can’t leave my son. I need to be here when he wakes up.”

“Of course, I understand. We’ll be in touch as soon as we know more about the crash. If there’s anything you need…”

“Yes, thank you,” Sam smiled weakly and watched as the young woman walked down the corridor.

She should be crying or at least showing some sort of emotion. Grief was something that she was very familiar with. She’d lost both of her parents and countless friends. She knew how you were supposed to grieve, the numerous psych evaluations had drilled that into her. She couldn’t help but think of the number of romantic interests that had died after becoming involved with her. It might make a half decent joke if it wasn’t so depressingly tragic.

Jake was being monitored on a High Dependency Ward, purely for precautions she’d been assured by the doctor on duty. He looked small and pale but he was breathing and she was thankful. It was getting late and Sam had fallen asleep in the chair beside his bed. Someone had covered her with a blanket as she slept and when she woke the following morning she found that her neck was stiff, and her body ached with fatigue.

Stretching, she pulled the blanket from across her lap and then folded it neatly. A nurse was busy taking her son’s blood pressure and she smiled as she wrote in his notes. “Your son’s doing well. The doctor will be here to see you soon.”

Jake opened his eyes and looked across at his Mom. Sam leant down and pulled her son gently into her arms. They stayed like that for some time until she felt her son drift back off to sleep. She carefully lowered him back down onto the pillows and then finally the flood gates opened and her tears began to flow.

The nurse passed her some tissues and brought a cup of water which Sam drank gladly.

“Is there somewhere that I can freshen up? she felt hot and clammy. The hospital room was very warm, and she also needed some air.

The nurse directed her to the bathroom and after staring at herself in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity she splashed some water over her face and dried it with a towel that the nurse had given her. She didn’t want to leave Jake for long but she needed to cool off and breathe some fresh air.

Pushing through the double doors she immediately took an enormous breath, almost as if she’d been holding it forever. She spotted a bench and walked over to it, slumping down on the hard, wooden slats. The sense of guilt was nagging at her, eating away at her like acid. She couldn’t remember the last time that she’d put her family first. She’d neglected them for too long and it had resulted in Pete’s death and very nearly her son’s. She had to start living in the present and that meant only one thing. She would be on bereavement leave for some time and she vowed to herself that she would stay away from Groom Lake… and Jack O’Neill.

xXx

Monica looked through the small window in one of the double doors. It had been two weeks since he’d had a visitor. Very occasionally an old Airforce friend would pop in but the only person who visited regularly, was Colonel Carter.

Monica was aware of what had happened to Colonel Carter’s husband, so it was no surprise that she had missed her last two visits. Pushing the doors open she entered the room and walked over to him.

“I don’t know if you can hear but I think you would want to know why Colonel Carter hasn’t been to visit you recently. Her husband has been killed and her son injured in a car crash. Her son’s okay and back at home now but she’s still not back at work. I guess we won’t see her until after her husband’s funeral. Anyway, I just thought you’d want to know, you seem quite… close. I’m sure she’ll visit soon.” The phone at reception rang and the nurse made her way out to answer it.

Jack had heard this voice before, amongst the many muffled conversations that seemed to confuse his befuddled mind.

_Colonel Carter… husband… car crash… son… killed._

The panic started to build in his chest again. He wasn’t claustrophobic, but he got the feeling that he was in a confined space. Dear Lord, it couldn’t possibly be a sarcophagus again could it. No, surely if it was he would have some periods where he was lucid and aware of what was going on around him.

He began calling out, but he couldn’t hear any sounds and his eyes were still tightly closed.

As he struggled inwardly he became aware that he had some movement in his arms. He began pushing at the lid of the stasis unit and when he called out he actually heard his own voice. He could hear alarms going off inside, or was it outside the contraption he seemed to be locked in. What the hell was going on. Was he a prisoner on some alien planet, he just couldn’t remember, it was all too much of a blur.

As the alarms got louder and more incessant the room was suddenly a buzz with people. He could make them out, albeit somewhat distorted. Before long the lid of the stasis unit was removed and Jack took a huge gulp of air.

Jack O’Neill wasn’t the sort of man that was easily spooked, that’s why he had been chosen to head up SG1 but something was different about this situation. He had no clue about where he was and he didn’t even know if the people surrounding him were friendly or hostile. In some ways they seemed as shocked as he was.

Instinctively, he began thrashing out. He tried to sit up but he just didn’t seem to have the energy. His vital signs began to give cause for concern and before he knew what was happening, a doctor stepped forward and pressed a needle into his forearm. As the room began to spin he saw a blonde woman out of the corner of his eye. She reached forward and put her hand on his arm.

“It’s okay, Colonel O’Neill, you’re going to be just fine,” Monica did her best to reassure him.

Before he passed out, he thought that even if he _was_ on another planet, it couldn’t be all that bad, if the aliens were all as pretty as she was.

xXx

There had been an autopsy but it came as no surprise that Pete had died from catastrophic head and internal injuries. Sam had been informed once again that his death had been instant. He wouldn’t have known anything about it. She found that this brought her a surprising amount of comfort and she had more or less come to terms with his death by the time of his funeral.

The day came and the funeral went as well as any funeral could. Sam was astounded by the amount of people who came to pay their respects. It made her realise once again that she really didn’t know Pete like she should have. He had been someone that she had felt compelled to marry for all the wrong reasons and she had been utterly unfair to him. But she had no guilt left to spare. She had acknowledged her mistakes, none of which she could put right now. All she could do was to bring Pete’s son up as he would have wanted, and she vowed that she would never let Jake forget his Dad.

Jake had attended the funeral, having convinced his Mom that he was mature enough to handle the situation and he would indeed have made Pete proud. The young boy missed his Dad but he was also trying to be as strong as he could for his Mom’s sake and Sam just knew that they were going to be okay.

Sam’s brother, Mark and his family had also come over and stayed a few days after the funeral. She was glad to see her brother again but she didn’t feel as if she could talk to him about Pete and as soon as Jake had been given the all clear to go back to school. Mark and his family had left.

The head of the Groom Lake facility had told Sam to take as much time as she needed but what she really needed wasn’t to lounge around at home wallowing in her own self-pity. What she needed to do was to get back and get her brain working again.

 

xXx

Almost four weeks had passed since Sam had parked her bike at the Groom Lake facility. She took off her helmet and ran her fingers through her hair. It was good to be back.

Walking through the corridors she was greeted by many familiar faces, some who stopped to give her a hug and others that hurried past her, not really knowing what to say. After changing into her BDU’s she reported to her lab and was pleased to see her work colleagues who were equally as pleased to see her.

As hard as she tried though, she couldn’t settle. Of course, she knew the reason why. She wasn’t thinking about what had happened to Pete, instead she felt an almost desperate urge to visit Jack. As hard as she had tried over the last few weeks she hadn’t been able to put him out of her mind. There had been a few occasions when she’d even had to stop herself from jumping on her bike and heading to Groom Lake to see him. As good as her intentions were, she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to stay away from him now she was back at work.

She was serious about putting Jake first. She had to. And if that meant not being as obsessed by Jack, then so be it. She needed to accept that he was gone and however much she might want it, he was never going to come out of stasis. Her life had been on hold for far too long.

Having knocked over several specimens in her distracted state, Sam decided that the only way to get him out of her system was to visit him one last time. That way she could say her goodbyes.  After that she might even consider requesting a transfer away from Groom Lake, for her son’s sake.

During her four weeks leave, she’d had no contact from anyone at Groom Lake. They had all been respectful of her need for privacy and time to grieve. So, she fully expected to find Jack in the same state as he had been before the accident.

Pushing open the medical suite doors Sam looked towards the reception desk but there was no one there so she made her way over to Jack’s room. As she neared the doors, Dr Martinez came out and was obviously taken aback by her presence.

Sam tried to enter the room as the doors were opened but the doctor gently held her back.

“Colonel Carter… before you go in, there’s something you need to know. We didn’t want to disturb you at home…”

Sam began to panic. Her brain began to go into overdrive, something that it did far too often. There was only one reason why she was being kept from the room, Jack’s condition must have deteriorated or even worse he’d died.

“No, no… this cant be happening. Not now… _please_.”

She pushed against the Doctor who pleaded with her to calm down, “Colonel, please… just listen.”

With adrenalin pumping around her body, Sam succeeded in overpowering him and she pushed her way into the room.

The sight that met her was almost too hard to believe and it stopped her in her tracks. The stasis unit was gone and instead it was replaced by a normal hospital bed surrounded by monitors. In bed lay Jack O’Neill, he was connected up to more wires and monitors than she’d ever seen before. She watched the steady rise and fall of his chest which was covered in ECG pads. He was breathing independently. Apart from the pallor of his skin, Sam could see that he was most definitely alive.

Slowly, his eyes opened, and her hand flew up to her mouth stifling an audible gasp.

“Jack…” she whispered.

A hint of a smile swept across his lips causing her heart to almost explode in her chest. She edged towards him as the tears instantly poured down her cheeks.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long to post. I'm afraid that RL got in the way!


	6. Chapter 6

Sam walked to his side and without thinking she threaded her fingers through his.

“After all this time, I’d almost given up on you, Jack.”

He looked slightly confused by her use of his first name, “And yet… you’re here… _Major_?” he made a sweeping gesture with his free hand.

“Actually, it’s Colonel now... _Colonel_ ,” she grinned, squeezing his hand even tighter.

Looking at her uniform he smiled, “Ah, so it is... congratulations are in order I assume and it’s about time, if I might add.”

“Well, it happened 10 years ago, so I guess I’ve had time to get used to it,” Sam could feel herself blushing for some unknown reason. She was used to taking compliments from him but it had been so long.

 “So… not your CO anymore?”

“No, Sir,” Sam replied, looking down at their hands that were still intertwined. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to describe just how amazing it was to be able to touch him. He’d been closed off in that glass unit for so long. So near and yet so far. Many times, she’d just wanted to touch his cheek to make sure that he actually _was_ still alive instead of having to rely on the stupid monitors that beeped every time there was even a miniscule change in his heart rate.

He raised his eyebrows. “Lose the Sir, Carter. I’m not your superior anymore.”

Sam nodded and for the first time, began to consider the implications of their ranks. It hadn’t been worth raising her hopes by thinking about it before now. Of course, she knew that it changed everything.

“Hey…” Jack chirped, to try and break what had become a very awkward silence. “I got some colour back, but I really need to work on my tan.” He turned his arm over as he considered its insipid colour. “You’d think the Asgard would have thought about that and built in some tanning tubes or something.”

“I think you look great,” Sam’s head snapped up and met his deep chocolatey eyes, which still, after all these years had the ability to make her insides do cartwheels. “Err… I mean you look pretty good… considering... everything.”

“Yep... and you look....”

“Old,” she cut in before he could finish.

“Carter, I was going to say you look amazing... just like you always did....” it was his turn to look into her brilliant blue eyes, eyes that he knew had nearly been his undoing, more times than he cared to admit.  
  
There followed an awkward silence. Neither one of them knowing exactly what to say next. Jack began to look tired and his eyes briefly flickered shut. Sam was about to leave him to rest when she felt his hand tighten around hers. He wasn’t prepared to let her go just yet. He looked at her once again and smiled.

“Have they told you what year it is?” Sam asked, cautiously.

“Yep, 2014,” Jack replied, as if it was perfectly normal to have skipped the last ten years of his life.

“That’s right. You’ve been in stasis for ten years.”

“Ah... so I’m 62. The last ten years really did go in a flash! What did I miss? “

Sometimes she really wished he wasn’t always the joker. She knew that it was a coping mechanism, that it enabled him to deal with the nasty crap that other people could never handle, but just for once she wished he would take things seriously.

“Maybe I should fill you in a bit at a time. A lot has happened.”

Jack nodded his head solemnly. He knew that not all of what she would tell him would be good and he was also aware that it would be painful for her too. She’d dealt with things as they had happened and now she was going to have to open old wounds all over again.

Looking him over in a way that made certain parts of his body react in ways that they really shouldn’t, she grinned at him and said,” You still have the body and presumably the mind of a 52-year-old, Sir... err, Jack.”

“Oh, I doubt that, Carter. My mind barely hit puberty!”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down. It’s that brain of yours that saved our assess more than once. Not everyone could have handled all that Ancient knowledge.”

“You know, I’ve always said that it _is_ pretty roomy up there,” he tapped the side of his head with his fingers, smiled and then stifled a yawn.

“I should go, you need to rest. I’m surprised they’ve let me stay so long.” Sam gently pulled her hand away from his and began to stand.

“Wait… Carter. There’s something I need to ask you,” Jack’s voice had taken on a serious tone and she sat back down, giving him her full attention.

“Please tell me to stop if I’m out of order, you know that I don’t do subtle.” Sam smiled and he knew he was okay to continue. “I think the reason I’m awake now is because I knew that something was wrong… with _you_.”

He could see that her eyes had begun to glisten, and she nodded very slowly.

“You remember Pete?” when he nodded his affirmation she carried on, “Well, I married him, about eight years ago. I was pregnant, and it seemed like the right thing to do. We have a son, I think you’d like him.” Sam paused, composing herself before she finished her story.

“Four weeks ago, they were involved in an RTA. Pete didn’t make it.”

Instinctively, Jack reached out and took Sam’s hand once again, his thumb began rubbing small circles on her skin. “I’m sorry. He seemed like a decent guy.”

“He was, but he just wasn’t…” Sam stopped herself before she said something that she shouldn’t. She was emotional and now wasn’t the time to get into any deep meaningful conversation, that she knew Jack was extremely bad at anyway.

“We were going through a rough patch. I’d asked him to leave just a few days before…” she suddenly choked and found that she couldn’t continue.

“Hey,” Jack whispered soothingly. “I think you should leave it for now. We can talk again.”

Sam nodded and after pulling her shirt cuff over her thumb, she wiped her eyes dry.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay and that I didn’t give up on you,” she squeezed his hand again and flashed him a lazy smile.

“Yep, me too… but there’s one thing that I should probably tell ya,” he didn’t know whether he should leave it for another time but then he figured that there was no time like the present. She deserved to know, after all, she’d been the only one that had really bothered. He’d found that much out from the lovely Monica.

He took a deep breath, “The Doc told me that part of my brain was damaged, probably by what was left of the Ancient repository, it seems like Thor only did half a job. You just can’t get the workmanship these days…” he raised his eyebrow, “or those days…” he gestured behind him with his thumb and shook his head. “Anyways… turns out that it caused a kind of a stroke. It affected my left side. It means I can’t walk right now and my left arm…” he raised his arm shakily by way of a demonstration, “…is shot at too.”

“I didn’t realise, I just thought, when I saw you that everything was okay,” Sam whispered, a little taken aback by his news.

“Yep, well, one mustn’t grumble. I’m alive and well and… unable to take a pee without a lot of help… of which Monica is being very accommodating.” Jack waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Sam couldn’t help but laugh. She pulled her hand from his and rested it on his bare chest.

“I just knew that you’d hit it off with Monica, she’s been great… but just one thing,” Sam poked Jack in the chest and he cocked his head at her in amusement.

“Just remember that really you’re a 62-year-old man and she’s far too young for you.”

Jack grinned and gave Sam a wink and as she turned to leave he shouted across the room, “You’ll be back?”

“Of course.… always.”

 _But you'll never be alone_  
_I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_  
 _I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_  
 _Baby, I'm right here_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really quick and much shorter update. The next one will be over a week I'm afraid. Apologies too because I have no idea how to stop the other note from being repeated at the end of every chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

All thoughts of applying for a transfer were suddenly forgotten the moment that Sam had walked through the door and saw Jack released from his stasis unit, breathing independently.

Life at home was getting easier, Jake was coping as well as he could with the loss of his Dad and at work, Sam had settled into a new routine. Most of her lunch breaks were spent in the medical wing, keeping Jack company. She liked the way his face lit up every time she walked through the door, especially if she brought cake with her from the canteen. As he was predominantly wheelchair bound, he’d been placed on a strict diet which he was already finding tiresome and he was turning out to be a less than agreeable patient.

 After several weeks of rehabilitation and physio he was getting stronger. He always put one hundred percent effort into all of his exercises but his lack of progress, particularly gaining the mobility needed for him to walk without the need of any aids, was proving difficult to achieve.

Breaking for lunch at her usual time of 12.30, Sam headed to see Jack after stopping off to pick up a blue-jello and a slice of carrot cake. If it had a vegetable in it, she figured that it must be classed as healthy. She balanced the tray on one arm as she pushed open the medical suite doors.

“Hey, Monica. How’s the Colonel today?” Sam asked, as she breezed over to the reception desk.

“Not so great actually.”

“Oh.” Sam wasn’t expecting it and she looked concerned, the last thing she wanted to hear was that he was having problems.

“He’s just had a tough physio session. He took it out on the therapist who’s refusing to work with him anymore. He has quite the temper, doesn’t he?” Monica tutted.

“Ahhhh, yes, he can be a little bit… touchy… sometimes. Particularly with medical things,” Sam replied diplomatically. “He’s a pussy cat really though… when you get to know him.” She found herself blushing for some irrational reason.

The receptionist just smiled a knowing smile before explaining to Sam that he had asked to be wheeled out into the grounds for some air.

For a split second Sam considered leaving him alone, but she knew him better than most people and sometimes the best thing to do was to confront him when he was in one of these moods. He rarely stayed angry for long.

It wasn’t difficult to find him. She knew that he would have asked to be wheeled across to the small pond that could be found in the grounds of the facility. It was the nearest thing he would be able to find that bore any resemblance to his favourite place. She could see that he was trying to throw stones into the pond with his weak arm with only a little success. She winced as she watched his fruitless efforts and she couldn’t help but feel sympathy for him. He was a doer; a go getter and she knew that his physical disabilities must be almost killing him.

“Carter,” he greeted her grumpily, as she approached him from behind.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Who else would have bothered to come out here to find me? I don’t exactly have that many people rushing to pay me a visit,” he answered, glumly.

She nodded and shrugged before trying a new approach. “I come bearing cake!” she said cheerily as she held out the large slice of juicy looking carrot cake.

“Sweet,” he replied, unenthusiastically, after looking up first at Sam and then the cake.

Unwilling to admit defeat, she thrust it towards him and gave him very little option other than to take it from her hands.

She settled herself next to his wheelchair on a bench and smiled before plunging her spoon into the dish of blue jello, with enthusiasm.

“So… blue is still your jello of choice,” he realised he would have to make some sort of effort. If truth be told, he really didn’t want company. He’d hoped that by coming outside she would have left him be, but she was the last person that he wanted to take his frustrations out on.  She deserved better than that.

“Oh yeah, it’s blue all the way, I’m a creature of habit. You should know that, you’ve been on enough off-world missions with me to know me better than anyone else.” She continued to eat her jello until there were only a few drops left at the bottom of the dish.

She looked across to see a smile curl the corner of his lips.

“What?” she nudged his arm playfully, hoping that his mood was lifting.

“It’s just it seems like only yesterday that we were saving the world, travelling through the ‘gate together, when really it was a whole damn decade ago.” He looked slightly melancholy again, as he let himself dwell.  “I just can’t get my head around it yet.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, “I really don’t know how I’d handle it if it had happened to me.”

 They ate the rest of their food in silence and watched as the ducks started squabbling in the middle of the pond.

“Monica told me that you didn’t get on too well with your physio today,” Sam broached, carefully after a while.

“She’s just a snitch,” he sulked and threw another stone into the pond, this time with his good arm and it nearly hit one of the unsuspecting ducks which flapped frantically and swam quickly away.

“No… she’s actually turned into a good friend and she knows that I’m concerned about how you are,” Sam was getting annoyed with him, even though she knew he had good reason to be the way he was.

“Concerned…” he raised his eyebrows.

“Yes, _concerned_ … am I wrong to be concerned?”

“No… it’s just that I thought you might have better things to do than bother with me.”

“Oh yeah, of course, because this place is just filled with people that I’d rather be hanging around with. They’re all bigger nerds than I am, Jack.”

He tilted his head up and gave her a half smile.

“Thanks,” he whispered.

She stared into his eyes and could see how genuinely heartfelt his sentiments were. Perhaps he didn’t realise it, but as far as she was concerned she would always be there for as long as he needed her. They held each other’s gaze for a little longer than was necessary and Sam could feel the heat start to rise in her cheeks.

 “Soooo… what’s the problem with physio?” The moment was becoming too uncomfortably embarrassing, so she decided it was best to resume their conversation, before she did something she might regret.

“The problem with physio is, that the _physio_ is a jerk. I’d even say that he’s more of a psychopath than Ba’al was. At least when _he_ tortured me he then had the good manners to put me in his sarcophagus to make me feel all _peachy_ again.”

“No pain, no gain,” Sam grinned but quickly restored her serious expression when she saw that for once, he wasn’t joking around.

 “You look in really good shape though, so it must be doing some good.” She smiled to herself. He really did look in amazing shape and she should know, she’d checked him out quite thoroughly when he didn’t know she was looking.

“Oh, it is, I haven’t had abs like this since I was in my thirties but I still can’t walk, Carter. What use am I to anyone if I’m stuck in this thing for the rest of my life.”

“I’m sorry,” she wanted to reach for his hand to give him some comfort, but he seemed so withdrawn. “You have to focus on the positives though.”

“Spare me the psychobabble, Carter. I see the shrink tomorrow. I’ll probably end up offending him as well.” Jack began to fiddle with the bottom of his t-shirt which she noted was already frayed.

“You need to get out of here for the weekend.” The idea came to her in such a flash that she didn’t actually have time to engage her brain before she blurted it out.

“In case you hadn’t noticed…I don’t exactly have anywhere to go since my place is in Colorado Springs and I’m _stuck_ here in this God Forsaken place.”

Sam felt slightly hurt. She knew that she shouldn’t take things personally and that at some point he would want to return to his home. The Air Force had arranged for the upkeep of his house and whilst she was still at the SGC she’d paid more than a few visits to check on things. However, she’d hoped that her being in Nevada would be enough of a reason for him to want to stick around for a while.

“I could ask if they’d let you come back with me for the weekend. I don’t see why they wouldn’t. We can take your medication with us. I think it’ll be good for your convalescence.” This was such a bad idea on so many levels but for some reason she just couldn’t seem to engage her brain.

“Geez, you make me sound like a ninety-year-old,” he huffed.

“Fine,” she barked as she stood to leave. “You can stay here and wallow in your own self-pity. Frankly, I’ve had enough of it.”

His mouth almost dropped open at her attitude. He was about to say something sarcastic about insubordination when he remembered that she was no longer his subordinate.

“Cool it, Carter, if the offer’s still open… then I accept. Unlike _some_ people, _I_ don’t play hard to get. I’ll accept your invitation… the first time of asking!” he grinned, knowing full well that the irony wouldn’t be lost on her. She’d know he was referring to all the times she’d turned him down when he’d invited her to his cabin to “fish”.

“You know, one small push and you’ll be getting up close and personal with the fish that _I know_ are in _that_ pond,” she nudged his wheelchair gently and he grabbed the arms, a slightly worried expression sweeping across his face.

Giggling, she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Sir. I still have far too much respect for you to do something like that. You’ll always be my CO… at least as far as I’m concerned.”

Jack cocked his head and raised his eyebrow before waving her away. “Be off with you, I need to sulk out here for at least another half hour, that way, the lovely Monica might just take pity on me and offer to do my bed bath this afternoon.”

Sam shook her head as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’ll speak to Dr Martinez and try and get you released this weekend.” Sam gave him one of her brightest smiles before turning and heading back towards the ugly concrete building.

Jack watched as she jogged back. It was true what he’d said to her. He couldn’t quite get his head around the fact that the world had moved on without him. Sam was ten years older than she had been, while he remained the same age. It hadn’t shocked him as such, she looked the same as she did, she’d aged well, a lot better than he would have, he mused.

In fact, the more he saw her, the more beautiful he thought she was. Of course, he’d loved her for longer than he cared to admit. The one thing he did remember was Sam visiting him at home after he’d stuck his head in the head sucker. He knew she’d wanted to say something profound, perhaps even admit her feelings for him openly but being the emotional cripple that he knew he was, he’d shut her down. He’d done it again when they were on the Goa’uld ship.

He didn’t blame her for moving on with her life. In fact, he was glad that she had. She deserved to have a kid. She’d likely do a better job of the whole parenting thing than he ever did.

He began to think about her offer for the weekend. He wasn’t about to fool himself. She was just being kind and probably felt sorry for him. How could she possibly want to have anything to do with a cripple like him. But, if she was prepared to give him her friendship then he’d take it, he’d snap it up because, as he’d already once admitted, he would rather die than lose her.

Nothing had changed.

xXx


	8. Chapter 8

“Oh, for cryin’ out loud. I can do this on my own, I’m not a cripple,” Jack snapped at the nurse who abruptly left the room, holding the door open for Sam.

She scowled at him as he struggled to move from the bed to his wheelchair.

“Why do you have to be so obnoxious? The poor guy was only trying to do his job,” Sam scolded him.

“I’m not a fucking child. I don’t need helping into my stroller.”

“Well you’re sure as hell acting like one,” she shot back at him.

His head snapped up and he felt the anger inside him threaten to explode but he reined it in when he saw her standing at the end of the bed with her hands on her hips. She was wearing skin tight jeans; a red top and leather jacket and he was sure she was trying to give him a heart attack.

“You’re late. I thought you weren’t coming,” he lowered his voice and took some deep breaths to control his temper.

“You knew it was all arranged. I told you I might be a bit late if my meeting dragged on.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry.” He hung his head, ashamed of his behaviour.

“So… I’ve got your meds and instructions about your exercises,” she smiled, trying to put him at ease. “I guess we’re good to go.”

Jack lifted his hold-all onto his lap and began to push himself towards her. His arm was getting stronger, but he still couldn’t properly propel the wheelchair. Sam walked the few steps over to him and took hold of the handles.

“Sometimes it’s okay to accept help, you know?” She began pushing him towards the door and he nodded deciding that it was best to choose his battles carefully.

Monica held the outer doors open for them and passed Sam his crutches, which he’d only just started using. “Good Luck,” she whispered as Sam passed her.

“I heard that,” he barked, and the two women laughed. “Try not to miss me too much, kiddo,” he shouted over his shoulder to the nurse who shook her head and then returned to her station.

xXx

Wheeling Jack out of the building was the easy part, even though he grumbled every time they passed someone who would stop them and ask Sam how he was doing, as if he didn’t exist.

“Err.. hello,” he waved sarcastically with both arms, to one of Sam’s lab technicians who had made the mistake of starting up a conversation with her. “Down here, yes, cooeeeee, I do speak.”

She’d quickly pushed him away before he embarrassed her any further.

“Why on earth do you have to be so rude?” she was exasperated with him.

“ _Me!”_ he poked himself in the chest. “ _I’m_ the rude one, you say. Did you see the way those…” he waved his arms erratically, “…those _people_ just ignored me?”

“They were asking about you, showing concern.”

“Maybe so, but why couldn’t they ask _me_. I am sitting right here?”

“Perhaps because they know how much of an old curmudgeon you are.” He looked hurt, but she was tiring of his attitude and the weekend hadn’t even begun. He really did need to get away from Groom Lake, but she just hoped he wasn’t going to be as unpleasant for the whole weekend.

They reached the car without meeting anyone else, mainly because Sam made sure that they took the route that was least likely to be busy.

She shoved his hold-all and crutches into the trunk and then opened the passenger door for him. After letting him try to negotiate his way into the car on his own unsuccessfully, she waited a little while longer.

“Okay, I can’t do it on my own. Do you mind _… please_ ,” he sighed and finally admitted defeat asking her for help.

The chair was slightly set back and Sam positioned herself in front of him. She bent down and he put his arms over her shoulders and pulled himself to a standing position. They were close and she could feel his breath on her cheek. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her skin pebbled at his touch. She knew that he must be able to sense her reaction, but it seemed that the effort was too much, and all his concentration was focussed on getting into the car. He needed her for support as he swivelled his hips, then he reached in and placed one hand on the dash whilst the other grabbed the top of the door casing. She helped him lower himself and lifted his weaker leg into the footwell.

“Thanks, Carter.” After stowing the chair in the back, she pushed the door shut and joined him in the car.

“Right, let the weekend begin,” she exhaled in relief, as she started up the engine.

They drove in silence for most of the way, making small talk about this and that. Jack kept looking over at her as she drove. He could tell she was thinking, she never really ever stopped. Maybe she was regretting her invitation, but then he cursed himself inwardly. The shrink had told him that his feelings of paranoia and lack of self-worth were all completely normal considering what he’d been through and what he was now having to try and come to terms with. Never the less, he wanted to show them that he could beat it without their drugs and therapies.

Sam could sense his gaze and so she smiled and looked over at him briefly. “You’ve never really asked about the rest of the team. I thought you’d want to know about them,” she quizzed him gently.

“The shrink says it’s time I started finding out about all the stuff I’ve missed. He doesn’t think I can move on ‘til I’ve buried the past.” Jack sat for a while staring ahead at the blurred lights on the highway. “Part of me wants to know but the other part thinks I should just let sleeping dogs lie.”

“Let’s see what happens this weekend, shall we. Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable at my place. It might make a difference. We can talk without anyone interrupting to take your blood pressure or stick a thermometer in your ear,” she grinned at him and earned one his special Jack O’Neill smiles. The type that he rarely shared with anyone but her.

Arriving at her house, Sam pulled the car into the drive and turned off the engine.

Getting Jack _out_ of the car and back into the wheelchair proved harder than getting him into the car in the first place. Finally, after a particularly awkward moment when he almost took Sam down with him, he was secured into his seat.

“I hope your house has wide enough doors to get this baby through!” he patted the arms of the wheelchair.

“Yeah... about that,” she squirmed, it was the one thing that she hadn’t factored into the equation.

“Carter... you didn’t really think this through, did you? I’m shocked... truly.” He’d always loved to tease her, there was something really attractive about Sam carter when she was being teased. The way the tips of her ears turned red and how she could never really find a good enough rebuff.

“Well, I’ll think of something,” she answered, confidently.

“I don’t doubt it. When you’ve blown up a sun, this is peanuts in comparison,” his smile was contagious, and she found herself wondering whether having him here in her home was really a good idea. Being professional and keeping a distance was easy at Groom Lake but here, where there were no prying eyes. She wasn’t so sure of herself anymore.

“I know you’ll be able to get through the main door. Some of the others, I’m not so sure.” She shrugged and pushed him up to the door.

After opening it, she threw his bag and the crutches in and then wheeled him carefully into the lobby.

“Nice place,” he looked around and then suddenly heard the sound of heavy feet running on the floor above him.

“Ah, I didn’t think it’d take him long. You better brace yourself,” Sam laughed, as her eight-year-old son came hurtling down the stairs. He threw himself at his Mom and gave her a sweet kiss.

“Looks like he missed you,” Jack grinned as he watched the scene unfold before him. Finally, Sam managed to prise her son’s arms from around her neck. She took her son by the shoulders and turned him to face Jack.

“Jake, this is Jack… Jack, this is Jake,” she introduced the two to each other.

The young boy hesitated for a moment and then flung his arms around Jack’s neck, much to Jack’s surprise.

“What can I say,” Sam shrugged, her cheeks slightly flushed. “He’s a hugger… like me.”

“Ya don’t say,” Jack grinned and then hugged the boy back.

 “So, this is _Jake_ ,” Jack raised an eyebrow as the boy finally released him.

“Yes, named after his Grandad,” Sam explained, seeing the slight confusion in Jack’s eyes.

“Yes…” Jack smirked, “I knew that.” he answered as convincingly as possible.

How he wasn’t aware of the boy’s name until now came as a bit of a shock to him. It made him realise how consumed he’d become with himself and his problems. He hadn’t asked her anything about her life over the past ten years, it was as if he had been shutting everything out.

A slightly older than middle-aged woman appeared by the kitchen door.

“Hey Lisa, I’m sorry I’m a bit late,” Sam apologised and took Jake’s hand as they walked towards the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, Sam. Jake and I have been doing some baking to welcome your guest,” the woman smiled over at Jack who raised his hand by way of a greeting.

“Smells, delicious,” he hummed. “How did you know I have a sweet tooth?”

“Oh, Sam has been telling us all about you, hasn’t she Jake?” Jake nodded up at Lisa who in turn winked at Sam.

“Well, err… I’m sure you must be wanting to get home” Sam spluttered, suddenly feeling a bit hot under the collar. She knew that she’d been telling Lisa a few things about Jack but she didn’t realise that she’d been giving her the wrong impression.

Lisa gathered up her coat and said goodbye. “He’s cute,” she whispered, as Sam tried to quickly usher her out of the front door. “Be sure not to do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Sam managed to bundle the larger than life child minder out of the door and then closed it tightly, regaining her composure.

Jack chuckled to himself. She hadn’t changed much, and he was glad.

“I’ll get you settled over there, then I’ll have to get Jake up to bed. I’ll fix us something to eat when I come back down.”

Sam pushed him over to the sofa and he managed to get himself out of the chair and into a comfortable position. “I could kill for a beer,” he stated.

“I thought you might say that.” She tripped off into the kitchen and came back with two bottles in her hand. She passed one to Jack and took a swig out of her own before putting it down on the table.

“I’ll be back soon,” Sam collected Jake from the kitchen and he waved at Jack before skipping up the stairs with Sam close behind him.

“See you tomorrow, kiddo,” he shouted after the young boy.

For the first time in several weeks, Jack finally felt at ease. There was no intrusive medical equipment and he was in a room that felt warm and comfortable instead of cold and clinical.

Her house was pretty similar to the one she’d owned in Colorado Springs. He’d been there a lot on team nights and he’d always felt the same sense of being welcome there as he did here. There were lots of photos which surprised him. There were plenty of Pete with Jake and some with all three of them. They looked happy, much the same as he, Sara and Charlie had looked when they’d been a family. Jake seemed like a great kid. He looked like Sam, blue eyes and blonde hair and it was in that instant that he realised that there was so much that he had missed out on.

Looking round again he spotted a photo of Sam and Jacob. Suddenly he felt a searing pain in his forehead. He closed his eyes tightly and he could hear Sam talking to him, even though it was muffled and not totally clear.

_Dad’s dead, Jack. Selmak died and Dad died with him. I miss him so much._

Jack slowly opened his eyes and the pain began to ease. He knew that Sam must have told him about her Dad when he was still unconscious. His chest began to constrict in what he could only describe as deep sorrow, as he thought about her having to cope with Jacob’s death. He’d had an immense amount of respect for Sam’s Dad as both a military officer and an upstanding human being, the world would be a much poorer place without him.

He took a large swig of his beer and emptied the bottle. It was the first alcohol he’d had since he’d woken up and he began to feel a warm tingly feeling in his legs. Reaching over he grabbed Sam’s bottle and took a sip out of it. He could taste her lipstick on the rim and licked his own lips when he brought the bottle down to settle on his thigh.

 “Hey, earth to Jack, where are you?” Sam whispered as she approached him from the stairs.

Jack looked up and he still had a slightly bemused look on his face.

“You look like you were light years away.”

“Not light years, but certainly years,” he replied wistfully.

Sam sat down on the sofa beside him and started to reach for her beer but as she did he took hold of her hand and brought it to rest on his thigh.

“Sam… I know about Jacob. I’m so sorry. He was a good man, I wish I’d been there to…” Sam squeezed his hand and took a deep breath.

“You told me, didn’t you? When you visited me.”

Sam nodded, somehow she knew that he’d heard her. It was the reason she had never given up on him.

“I still miss him every day. “ She began to sob, and her shoulders shook gently as the tears streamed down her cheeks.

“C’mere,” Jack whispered softly and pulled her into him. She settled into the crook of his arm which he wrapped around her shoulders.

Her sobs subsided but she didn’t want to move away from him. This is what she had needed all those years ago when Jacob had died. Jack would have been there for her, far more than Pete had ever been.

As Jack rocked her gently he could feel her breathing begin to slow and her tears stop flowing. Slowly, she looked up at him. “Selmak wanted to sacrifice himself to save Dad, but he wouldn’t let him. He wanted Selmak to help with the replicators and he did. They both died as heroes.”

“Selmak gave Jacob years more than he would have had. I hate to say it, but for a goa’uld, he was okay.”

“He was a Tok’ra,” Sam corrected him.

“Yeah, that too.”

Sam laughed lightly and rested her head against his shoulder one more time.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For being here for me?”

“Always,” he pressed his lips to her forehead and then rested his chin on the top of her head.

In turn, Sam brought her hand up to where Jack’s was cupping her shoulder and she threaded her fingers through his pulling his hand lower.

Reluctantly, Sam sat up and pointed towards the kitchen, “I should fix us something to eat.”

“Well, I’ve heard that eating is highly overrated… although, I have to admit to being slightly peckish.”   

xXx

Much to Jack’s surprise, Sam’s culinary skills had improved greatly. It was either that or the food at Groom Lake really was as bad as he thought it was.

For the rest of the evening they reminisced over old times. Sam told him a bit of what had happened in his absence and Jack seemed to be taking it in his stride.

“Tomorrow you can tell me about Teal’c and Daniel.” Jack tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

“I think I better show you to the spare room before you fall asleep right here.” The Doctor had told her that he would probably be very tired. Fatigue was something that was still proving to be a problem for him. A side effect of being unconscious for so long they’d presumed.

“Hey, I don’t mind. Throw a blanket over me and I’ll be snug.”

“Nope, you need your rest and you’re not gonna get that on here.” Sam began to wheel the chair over to him, but Jack shook his head.

“I’ll use the crutches, it’ll be easier.”

She gave him a sceptical look but did as he asked. They’d had a lovely evening and she didn’t want to spoil it by souring his mood.

If it hadn’t been for his weak arm, the crutches would have been no problem for him. As it was, he only just managed to make it to the door of the spare room before he had to rest heavily against the corridor wall.

“Here, put your arm over my shoulder, I’ll help you to the bathroom.” Sam had brought his bag in earlier and had taken the liberty to unpack his stuff. She figured it would make it easier for him and she didn’t think he’d mind. She’d put his toiletries in the bathroom but had been slightly perturbed by his lack of night attire. So, Jack O’Neill slept naked… who knew, she’d thought, whilst trying to chase the rather salacious images from her decidedly dirty mind.

“Yeah, I’ll freshen up. The shower can wait until the morning,” he pushed the door to but didn’t shut it tight. Sam sat down in a small chair that was placed in the corner of the room to wait for him. She heard him wash and brush his teeth, all things she’d witnessed many times before, but for some reason this was different. This was the first time he’d done such personal things in her house and it was also the first time since Pete’s death that a man had stayed over, and the thought unsettled her for some reason. Maybe it was guilt, she didn’t really know but what she did know was that she needed to get out of his room.

Jack pushed the door open and smiled, “I’m ready.”

Sam took his arm and draped it over her shoulder again to guide him over to the bed.

Just as they reached the corner, Jack tripped on a shoe that was sticking out from underneath and he fell sideways taking Sam with him. He landed awkwardly but managed to push himself up all the while apologising for his clumsiness.

Sam pushed herself from her unladylike position in his lap, but he took hold of her hand to prevent her from standing.

As usual, he couldn’t think of the words that he really wanted to say to her. So instead he leaned in to her and with his free hand he stroked the side of her cheek with his thumb. She pressed into his palm and her eyes flickered shut.

She was so beautiful and so perfect. Inch by inch he closed the gap between them until his lips were a mere breath away from hers. He could feel her breath on his skin, he glanced down to her mouth and then gently pressed his lips against hers. For a moment she responded, giving him hope, but as he swept his tongue across her lower lip she suddenly pulled away from him.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this… not now.” Sam stood and left Jack sitting alone on the edge of the bed.

“ _Jesus Christ, O’Neill, when will you ever get it right_ ,” he cursed himself before flopping down on his back.

_I’ll hold you when things go wrong_  
I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn  
I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn  
Baby, I’m right here

  
xXx  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still enjoying it and it's not too slow and boring. I know it's not an action packed story but hopefully there;s enough in here to keep you interested.


	9. Chapter 9

The cup, of once pleasantly warm milk, that Sam was cradling between her hands, had long since gone cold.

Waking at 4am on the weekend wasn’t a normal occurrence. Her solution had backfired, because as soon as she had warmed the milk and sat down for what should only have been a few minutes to settle her thoughts, she’d found her over active brain had once again kicked into overdrive and flooded itself with “what ifs.”

If she hadn’t run away from him, she might even have been waking up in his arms. Just the thought of it made her tingle. He was everything she’d ever longed for and even though she’d only just lost Pete and should to all intents and purposes be feeling guilty, she knew it wasn’t that, that had made her flee from him.

The sound of running water startled her and she glanced at her watch. 5.00am. She had been sitting contemplating her feelings for an hour.

She found some small consolation in the fact that Jack had obviously not slept well either. It wasn’t surprising, he was still unfit and, in some pain, he was in unfamiliar surroundings and he’d most likely been unsettled by the fact that she’d rebuked his advances, if that’s what they even were, the night before. As the trickle of water continued, Sam realised that he must be in the shower.

She was impressed and relieved that he managed to negotiate it on his own. It would have been way too awkward to have to help get him from the bed, into the shower. The very thought of it, whilst appealing on several levels, was peppered with way too many problems.

Pouring the unpleasantly cold contents of the cup down the sink, her curiosity got the better of her. She could see from the corridor that his door was ajar. Placing her hand on the door casing, she hesitated. How could she walk in there after last night? After a brief indecision then a gentle push, the door opened easily. Steam was filtering through the crack of the bathroom door, slowly filling the cold room with great plumes of mist. She could hear the water. Louder now, cascading down, splashing as it hit, first his body, then the hard floor. She could hear the sound of him washing, lathering himself with soap and the more Sam stood there, the more she realised that what she was doing was wrong.

He’d never do this to her. He had more respect for her than to creep around whilst she was showering.  She’d known for a long time that she wasn’t acting like herself. What on earth had happened to her over the last ten years?

She’d suffered ten years of longing for something that she couldn’t have. The more she thought about it, it had been way longer than ten years, even before he’d been incapacitated by the Ancient knowledge. She wanted what lay beyond that door so much that it physically hurt her, and, in that instant, she also knew that it was the possibility of losing him again that she couldn’t live with.

Pulling the door closed quietly, Sam walked away knowing that nothing had really changed between them, the barriers, albeit different, were still there.

xXx

Exhausted, from one of the worst night’s sleep ever, Jack had hauled himself into the shower. The soothing water massaged his aching muscles as it trailed down his chest and thighs. He stood with his arms stretched out in front of him, leaning heavily on the cold tiles as he let the water cascade over his head and down over the firm muscles of his shoulders and back.

He was trying not to think too much about the previous night. The thought of Sam being pissed at him wasn’t one that he wanted to dwell upon. He’d been a fool, he’d acted like a love-struck teenager, but truth be known he’d acted purely on impulse. He was so grateful to Sam for everything that she’d done, she was his saviour, his salvation and in that moment the only way he knew how to show her how deeply he cared for her, was to kiss her. Shit... sometimes he wished he was more like Daniel, intelligent and eloquent, that way he could have explained his feelings instead of scaring her off.

The damp hairs on his skin stood on end as he felt cool air sweep into the room. He could sense that someone was there but as he stilled to listen, the bedroom door creaked quietly and then the room slowly warmed up once again.

Finishing up, he rinsed the lather off his body and then grabbed the towel that he’d left draped over the screen. Cursing his lack of mobility, with great effort, he managed to pat himself down, then pull on a fresh black t-shirt and jogging bottoms. Sliding on the slippers that Sam had bought him, he hobbled through the house on his crutches.

He could smell fresh coffee and contemplated pouring himself a cup, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to carry it, so he continued through to the lounge and saw that the doors to the back were standing ajar. As he neared them, he saw Sam leaning forward on the wooden balustrade with a cup of what he assumed was steaming coffee in her hand. With an immense effort he made it to the door but just as he tried to raise his leg to step outside, the crutch in his weaker arm slipped from his grasp and clattered to the floor.

_“Jack_ ,” Sam was alarmed and turned to see him lean precariously against the door frame. “You should have called me. I’d have helped.”

She walked over and lifted his crutch up off the ground. She helped him out until he could stand and lean against the railings.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“Me neither,” Sam shook her head. She turned from him and looked out over the garden. The sun had risen but a hazy mist still hovered just above the ground. There was an eerie hush as they stood in silence and listened whilst the birds began to greet each other for the first time that day.

“Carter?” Jack interrupted the solitude, beginning to feel uncomfortable by Sam’s silent demeanour.

“Why can’t you even call me by my name,” she asked, sadly as she turned again to look at him.

“I thought after...”

“After what?” she interrupted his explanation. “After you kissed me and I ran away like some stupid teenage girl?” She was angry, but not with him and she didn’t want to hurt him. “I can’t do this now. Jake has baseball practise today. I need to go and sort out his stuff. I’ll see you when we get back.”

She turned to go, but Jack gently held her arm and she spun back to face him.

“Sam... I’d love to come with… if you and Jake are okay with that.” He needed to be with her, he didn’t want to be left alone and he had to try and show her how he felt.

Sam nodded and then pulled her arm away from Jack’s grip before returning inside.

Feeling utterly drained, Jack slumped down onto a wooden bench that was just beside the back door. He couldn’t figure out if Sam was upset that he’d kissed her or if she was annoyed with herself for running away. In all his life he’d never understood women, he’d given up trying a long time ago when he realised that he probably never would.

xXx

He’d only closed his eyes for a few minutes, he would’ve sworn but when he opened them to find that the sun had finally found some warmth as it shone down on him, he was more than a little taken aback to see Jake standing in front of him dressed in his baseball gear.

“Mom says you want to come to baseball practise with us?” the young boy beamed.

“Err, yep, sure, you betcha,” Jack grinned, finding Jake’s enthusiasm contagious. From what little Jack had seen of Sam’s son he reminded Jack so much of Charlie. It was a strange feeling for him. Sam was obviously a wonderful mother and he didn’t doubt that Pete had been a great father. Probably far more qualified in the parenting department than he had ever been. He’d always been of the opinion that he didn’t deserve a second chance where fatherhood was concerned, he’d fucked up big time, there were no excuses for what had happened to Charlie. It had been his fault and his fault alone.

“Okay, are we ready?” Sam shouted from the lounge.

Jake pointed towards the door in a gesture that Jack recognised to be, “ _we don’t wanna keep Mom_ _waiting”_ and Jack laughed as he hauled himself up from the bench.

xXx

It had literally been years since Jack had been anywhere near a Little League baseball game. The surroundings were familiar with lots of parents sitting and standing around, cheering on their kids.

There were the usual group of over eager Dad’s that had a little bit too much to say for themselves and the huddles of women obviously finding much more interesting topics of conversation than just how many runs their little “Johnny” had managed to get.

Sam watched as Jack seemed to slip into a contemplative mood. Most of the time he was light-hearted, never taking things too seriously but very occasionally, he would drift off into a world where he’s demons waited to taunt him.

“You okay?” Sam asked, nudging him with her shoulder. She’d decided while she’d been getting Jake ready that Jack needed a calm, settled weekend to recuperate and she was just going to have to put her reservations and feelings to one side.

“Yeah… just thinkin’,” he replied, quietly.

“About Charlie?” Sam knew him too well and whilst he’d never really opened up to any of the team about what happened to Charlie, she probably understood more than most, what he was going through.

He turned his head to look at her and smiled sadly, “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Jack. Maybe you should have stayed at home.”

“No… I wanted to come. I need to be around people, hell, I’ve spent long enough alone. Not that I really knew… I mean I was asleep so…” he shook his head as if he was never going to be able to properly explain.

“Yep…” Sam rested her hand on his knee. “I get it.”

“I know you do,” Jack sighed. “I think you’re the only one that does.”

Jake hit a home run and both Sam and Jack stood up simultaneously and applauded him.

“What was Charlie like?” Sam asked, cautiously as they regained their seats.

Jack looked down at his hands which were clenched together between his knees. “He was a great kid. Really good at baseball. We spent the weekends tossing balls around the yard.”

“Jake loves to do that. Pete would always be out with him. I think that’s probably what Jake misses the most.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack whispered, and Sam shuffled closer to him on the bleachers and lay her head against his shoulder.

 Looking over to where a group of women were staring at Jack and Sam and obviously finding their actions a great source of gossip, Sam murmured, “Look at Tom McGill’s mum,” she nodded over to the group of young women. “This’ll probably make her century. She’ll be living off this gossip for years to come.”

“I take it you don’t like her much,” Jack chuckled.

“Nah, I can’t be doing with her type. They’re all too concerned about their fancy cars and houses. God forbid they broke a nail, I think their world would come to an end.”

“So… if they came face to face with a snakehead?” Jack raised his eyebrow.

“They’d crap themselves,” Sam laughed and pushed herself even closer to Jack.

“Well,” Jack grinned mischievously, “why don’t we really give her something to gossip about!” He slid his arm around Sam’s shoulder and pulled her as close to him as he could. Sam laughed again and rested her forehead against his cheek. They stayed like that for the rest of the training session, cheering Jake on loudly.

xXx

Being with Sam and Jake had been so easy. They had fallen back into their usual playful flirting and camaraderie. It had felt like it did when he had been with Sara, they’d been so happy, but then he’d ruined it all in the worst possible way. He could never do that to Sam and Jake. As he’d already convinced himself, he didn’t deserve a second chance. Now he was glad that she’d rejected him the previous night. It would make things easier. Whilst he desperately wanted her and everything she could offer him, he couldn’t risk messing it up, he needed to let her get on with her life without him.

 Returning to the house, Sam fixed them lunch and then Jake went out in the back to score a few hoops.

Finally, Sam and Jack sat down in the lounge. He was tired again and she pushed the footstool over so that he could sit with his bad leg raised as the doctor had suggested he do.

“Jake’s a good kid,” jack stated. “I’m glad you have him.”

“Yeah, he’s my world. It’s funny, I never thought I’d have kids. Didn’t think what with the job and with…” Sam suddenly clammed up, not willing to say what she was truly thinking.

“Yeah, I suppose being in charge of saving the world from honkin’ big… and small, aliens does restrict one, somewhat,” Jack smirked trying to lighten the tense atmosphere that he could sense was developing.

“Err, if I remember correctly, _you_ were in charge,” Sam pointed out.

“Not for the last decade I wasn’t.”

“No… but we never forgot you and you were always our motivation.”

“Yours maybe,” Jack nodded. “But I’m pretty damn sure that Daniel’s motivation lay elsewhere. It always did.”

“They missed you too, you do know that?”

Jack shrugged his shoulders and dipped his finger into his coffee to pull out a stay hair.

“Do Teal’c and Daniel even know I’m awake?” Jack asked the question for the first time.

“Yes, they do and they want to see you. I got in touch with them a few weeks ago but I’ve been waiting for a good time to ask you.”

“Yeah, I want to see them too. It’s a long time since we had a team night. I wonder if Teal’c still likes pizza?” Jack mused.

“Oh, I think he still likes almost anything… apart from warm bovine lactose,” Sam giggled, and Jack gave her a curious look.

Over the course of the afternoon, Sam filled Jack in with more of what had happened over the last ten years. She told him about Atlantis and the replicators, about the Ori and the Wraith and what had happened to Daniel and Teal’c. As Jack listened he realised that it must have been hard for Sam to have been so removed from it all, being at Area 51 rather than on a front-line team. Of course, he knew she’d been drafted back on more than one occasion to help.

 As the afternoon turned slowly to early evening, Sam prepared dinner and they ate together with Jake telling Jack all about his school friends and which were his favourite lessons. It came as no surprise that he loved science and he also wanted to join the Airforce like his Mom and Grandad.

“You flew planes, didn’t you, Jack? Mom’s told me all about you.” Jake beamed, as he hung off Jack’s every word.

“Yeah, Jake I did. But it’s a dangerous job ya know. I’m not sure your Mom would be too happy with that.” Jack glanced over at Sam who was sitting with her chin resting on her hands watching, contentedly as both Jake and Jack got along like a house on fire.

With the dishes cleared up, Jake was sent up to bed with a cup of hot chocolate and Sam and Jack sat down once again with a bottle of cold beer in their hands.

“Thanks for today,” Jack looked towards Sam, before tipping his head back and taking a large gulp of his drink.

“It was nice. Jake enjoyed it. It’s good for him to have a man around.” Sam suddenly felt uncomfortable, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks.

“Sam…” Jack sat forward and put his bottle down on the table. “I’m sorry about last night, I know you didn’t want to talk earlier but I was out of order. I should never have tried to take advantage of you like that.”

Sam shook her head and placed her bottle down too, “You know how I feel about you, how I’ve always felt about you.”

Jack glanced away, unable to look at the sadness in Sam’s eyes.

“When you used the ancient device, I thought I’d lost you. In that moment, I didn’t care about the regs or the fact that you were my CO and I wasn’t supposed to love you. I just wanted you to fight but you couldn’t. I didn’t want to carry on. I was a wreck, but seeing you, having you near kept me going. I never gave up on you.”

“I know, I always knew,” Jack looked at her again and put his hand on the table trying to bridge the gap between them.

“When I visited you, week after week, year after year. I wanted you so much that it hurt. Now you’re here, I don’t think I could lose you again.”

“Jesus, Sam,” Jack rubbed the back of his neck, barely able to listen to Sam’s words. He knew that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him, and that’s what made it so hard. There was really nothing standing in their way apart from the fact that he didn’t want to hurt her.

“Pete suffered. Even though we had Jake, he knew that the part of me he wanted the most would never be his. It ate away at him slowly, bit by bit, until all we ever did was fight. If he hadn’t…” Sam’s voice cracked and tears began to sting her eyes.

Jack reached for Sam’s hand and rubbed soft circles with his thumb.

“If he hadn’t been killed, we would have separated, we already had. I was lying to him and to myself.”

“I’m sorry, Sam. It would’ve been better if I’d just died. The last 10 years can’t have been easy. I would do anything to change that.” Jack squeezed her fingers tightly and she brought her other hand over them both.

“Stay in Nevada? _Please_.” She pleaded with her eyes and Jack had to look away. He dropped his head and withdrew his hands. Picking up the beer bottle he began picking at the label.

“But you can’t promise me that, can you?” Sam’s shoulders dropped, and she sat back on her sofa.

“I don’t know, Sam. It’s just not that simple.”

“It could be. If you want it to be,” Sam leaned forward and took the bottle from his hand, then she stood and joined him on the sofa at the other side of the table.

“I love you and I want to be with you.” She edged toward him and with her left hand she cupped his cheek. Inside, Jack could feel himself battling against his emotions. He reached up and covered her hand with his. He knew he should stop it, he should pull her hand away before things went too far but then she leaned closer and he could feel her breath on his lips. She looked directly into his eyes and seeing only love reflected back at her, she let her lips touch his and then he was lost.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of those still reading this story. I think there's probably only two chapters left. This chapter is all Jack and Sam. There's a lot of dialogue so I hope it works okay.


	10. Chapter 10

 

It had been a long time, even before he’d been in stasis, that Jack O’Neill had woken up with a woman in his arms.

It was inevitable really. As soon as Sam had kissed him the previous night, he never stood a chance. Any doubts he may have had were quickly forgotten, when she’d brushed her lips across his and instantly broken his resolve.

He’d wanted her for longer than he cared to remember. Longer certainly than he should have, considering their ranks and working relationship. Of course, he still had his reservations but if Sam was willing to trust him then maybe it was time that he started having a little faith in himself.

She had her back flush against him as he cradled her closely in his strong muscular arms. He could tell she was still asleep by the slow, steady rhythm of her breathing.

He knew it was selfish, but he wanted her to wake. His fingertips caressed her skin as they delicately trailed down her arm from her shoulder to her hand where he threaded his fingers through hers and pulled both their arms tightly around her.

She wore her hair a little longer these days and he pushed it away so that he could pepper kisses from the nape of her neck along the top of her shoulder. As he did so, she moaned her approval which sent waves of pleasure straight to his groin.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” Sam purred sleepily, as Jack continued to nip at her neck.

“Did you ever doubt it would?” he asked, curiously.

The only answer Sam could give were further groans of appreciation.

“Waking up beside you in a tent always did things to me that it shouldn’t have, so I knew if we ever woke up together like this, it would be mind blowing.”

“Yeah, I can feel that and it’s certainly not your sidearm,” Sam pressed her hips back into him and it was his turn to let out a guttural moan.

Sam laughed then brought his hand up to her lips and kissed the back of it. “We’ve waited so long for this. It feels like a dream.”

“Jesus Sam, I hope not. Anyway...” Jack slapped her backside playfully, “...does that convince ya that it isn’t?”

“ _Jack!”_ Sam yelped, a little louder than she should have.

“Shhhhh...” he whispered, clamping his hand over her mouth to stifle her gasps, “...you’ll get Jake up and I don’t think I’ve finished with ya yet.”

“Well now, that’s very presumptuous of you, Colonel O’Neill. I mean maybe I just wanted to have my way with you to satisfy my immediate cravings,” Sam grinned at him suggestively.

Jack gasped dramatically, “Colonel Carter, I’m hurt, shocked even. And here was me thinking that you had feelings for me.”

“Oh, I do... I have lots of feelings for you.” Sam turned in his arms and slid her hand over his chest and up the side of his neck until her fingers raked through his short grey hair.

She pulled him to her and kissed first his cheek, then the very corner of his mouth before she pressed her lips to his and instantly they opened to let her tongue explore.

They parted breathlessly, and Jack pulled her close to him, his fingers caressing the smooth plains of her back, spreading as they reached the curve of her backside where he pulled her to him and in turn pushed his hips into hers.

“Ya know, yesterday isn’t the first time you’ve told me... _you know_.” Jack gestured between them with his hands.

For a moment, Sam was confused, then it dawned on her. “Ahhh, that I _love_ you?” she smiled.

“Yeah... that,” Jack agreed, somewhat bashfully.

“What do you mean?” Sam quizzed him.

“You told me before, when I was, in a coma, asleep... whatever. I remember. I remember a lot of it.”

“Good, because everything I said was true. I do love you, Jack and I’m going to show you just how much.”

With a smile on his face and eyes like a love-struck puppy, Jack was quite happy to let Sam show him just how deep the feelings were that she had for him.  

She moved so that she straddled him and lowered herself until their lips were touching very lightly. He could feel her hot breath, taste her almost. His lips found her neck and he kissed his way across the curve of her jaw, as she tipped her head backwards, so he could continue his exploration.

“You’re more beautiful now, Sam, than you’ve ever been,” Jack said, huskily as Sam sat upright once again and let her fingers trail down his chest, over his stomach until she reached the line of soft hair which led a path down his lower abdomen to where their bodies joined. Then they made love to each other, slowly and tenderly, for only the second time in their lives.

Exhausted but satiated Sam resumed her position snuggled into his side, after spending a pleasurable time astride him. She could tell by how tense his body became, that he was in some considerable pain.

“Are you okay,” she asked, the concern evident in her voice. She placed her hand soothingly on his chest.

“Yeah, just a bitch of a cramp in my leg,” he groaned, obviously in more pain than he was willing to admit.

“I’m sorry, Jack. I shouldn’t have put you in this position.”

“Hey, don’t you dare blame yourself. Besides... the Doc said I had to keep up with my exercises and there are way more positions that you can feel free to put me in.” He winked at her before leaning across and planting a firm but loving kiss on her lips.

Sam giggled and buried her head in the side of his neck as she stroked his chest, weaving her fingers through the smattering of coarse grey hairs that she found there.

“Seriously though, are you okay, I mean your arm and leg?”

“Yeah, I’m good and actually more than happy that the most important part of my anatomy hasn’t been compromised!” he joked and both he and Sam began to laugh before Jack slid his hand over Sam’s hip and down the back of her thigh, whilst kissing and sucking at the tender skin of her neck.

“Wait,” Sam whispered, already slightly breathless by his ministrations. “I hear Jake. I better go and make breakfast. I don’t want him to find me in here.” She slid out of bed and quickly pulled on the clothes she’d been wearing the day before, then, after giving Jack a peck on the cheek she left his room.

Jack sighed and rolled over to where Sam had been lying just to prolong the feeling of warmth that had enveloped his body ever since she had joined him in his bed the night before.

xXx

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, there was a light tap on his door. Groggily he opened his eyes and readjusted the sheets before answering the knock.

The door opened slowly and from the other side peaked a small blonde head with blue eyes.

“Hey Jake, does your Mom know you’re here?”

 “Sure,” the young boy breezed into the room carrying a tray. “Mom sent me with some breakfast for ya. She said that you need to keep your strength up.”

“Yeah, I bet she did,” Jack mumbled under his breath.

“There’s pancakes, eggs and orange juice. It looks good,” Jake placed the tray down on the bed beside Jack.

When Jake didn’t make any attempt to go, Jack patted the bed beside him and the young boy jumped up next to him.

“Would ya like some pancakes,” Jack asked, and Jake nodded his head vigorously in affirmation.

“So, what do you and your Mom normally do on Sundays?”

“Ahhh, not much. She’s been really tired lately. Sometimes we might go to the park, other times we just stay in and watch TV. It’s okay, I like spending time with Mom,” Jake smiled, as he tucked into Jack’s pancakes.

“If you’d like, we could toss some balls in the yard later?” Jack cocked his eyebrow.

Jake’s face lit up, but then he frowned, “I don’t think Mom will let us. She says you need to rest before you go back tomorrow.”

“Leave your Mom to me. I’m sure I can find a way to persuade her that it’d be okay,” Jack tried to reassure the boy as he gently nudged him. They ate the rest of Jack’s breakfast in silence and then Jake took the tray and left Jack to get ready.

xXx

“It’s only a couple of balls. I’ll be fine,” Jack shouted over at Sam who was standing with her hands on her hips at the back door of the house.

Jake had wheeled Jack out and was now standing proudly with his baseball glove ready to receive Jack’s throw.

“Well, don’t complain to me when you’re all stiff later,” Sam shouted back. She could see the instant libidinous grin that curled his lip and she shook her head before returning indoors.

As she washed up the breakfast dishes, Sam looked out at where Jake and Jack were happily throwing balls and laughing like they’d know each other forever. After tidying up the kitchen, she poured herself a hot cup of coffee and then went to sit on the bench by the back door.

The sun was warm, and it was pleasant. They’d been tossing balls for the best part of an hour and Sam could tell that Jack was getting tired. She knew that he’d never admit it, so she put her cup down and walked over to where they were playing.

“Jake, I think it’s time Jack had a rest. Maybe you can play a little later,” Sam told her son, who sulked a little but then took the ball off Jack and went inside.

Sam pushed Jack over to the bench and helped him out of his wheelchair. He slumped down heavily and took a deep breath.

“Thanks, I’m bushed, but I didn’t want to disappoint Jake, he seemed to be enjoying it,” Jack explained.

“He was, I can tell he likes you.”

Nodding at Sam’s cup, he said, “One of those left for me?”

“Yeah, I’ll just grab a fresh cup myself.” And Sam ran back inside to get them both a cup of coffee.

“There,” she said, handing him the cup which he took eagerly.

“Morning,” he smiled at Sam lovingly.

“Morning to you too.”

“Sorry we came straight out, but I’ve never seen a kid so excited,” Jack apologised. He’d wanted to talk to Sam before the day had properly begun but he didn’t want to disappoint her son.

“Hey, it’s okay. Besides, we’ll have plenty of time together later when Jake goes over to Joel’s house.” Jack looked confused and Sam explained that she’d made arrangements with Joel’s Mom that Jake could go over and play for a few hours to give them a bit of time to talk.

Stretching out his leg, Jack groaned as the pain shot from his hip down his thigh and finally through his knee. He rubbed his leg and sat back against the bench.

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” Sam placed her hand over his on his thigh and followed his movements.

“S’Okay, it’ll wear off.” Finally, Jack relaxed and squeezed Sam’s hand to show her that everything was okay.

 “So… last night,” Jack eventually plucked up the courage to strike up a conversation.

“Yep… last night,” Sam blushed as she tried to supress a grin that was rapidly spreading across her face.

“No regrets?” Jack asked, holding his breath for her reply.

“Nope. You?” Sam asked, equally as worried that she might not get the reply she expected.

“None,” he smiled, warmly. “But…”

“Why does there always have to be a but?” Sam sighed.

“You and Jake deserve the best and I’m not sure that I’m the one that can give you that.”

“I don’t see why. You seem to get on well with Jake and he likes you. _We_ know each other better than most _married_ couples do. We’re well matched… in _all_ departments,” Sam couldn’t help but sneak a quick kiss on his cheek. “And most of all, I love you and I hope you love me.”

Jack looked down to where their fingers were still intertwined.

“You _know_ I love you, that’s why I don’t want to hurt you. I haven’t got a great track record at this family stuff… ya know.”

“Jack, when I was first told about Pete’s accident and I thought that Jake had died too. I thought my world had ended. It _would have_ ended if anything had happened to him, so, I know I don’t fully understand what you went through, but I do kind of know. What happened to Charlie was a terrible, tragic accident and I have so much respect for you for getting through it.”

“I didn’t though, not really. When I stepped through the gate to Abydos I did it ‘cos I thought I wouldn’t be coming back. I had nothing to live for.”

“But you _did_ , and you have gone on to do some amazing things. You’ve given so much of your life to the SGC. You deserve to be happy, Jack. _Please_ … let me make you happy.” Sam edged towards him and he lifted his arm for her to slide into his side.

“Can we at least give it a go?” Sam asked.

Jack nodded and rested his chin on top of Sam’s head. He closed his eyes just for a moment and for once he believed that everything was going to work out.

xXx


	11. Chapter 11

What was left of their Sunday turned out to be almost perfect.

Whilst Jake was at his friend’s house, Jack and Sam found themselves once again in his bed, where they spent the afternoon exploring each other’s bodies, finding out what they each liked and how to satisfy each other fully. They touched every scar and blemish, recalling how they’d come by them. Some that were already known to the other and some that weren’t. They talked about SG1 and Sam asked about Jack’s time in Special Ops.

It seemed that they had discovered so much more about each other in such a short time.

The subject of what would happen when Jack had recovered however, didn’t come up as a topic of conversation, intentionally it would seem, on both of their parts. Both knew that the powers that be were probably already discussing what to do with him. Sam understood more than most, that his ability with Ancient devices would be invaluable to the research and development of new technologies and Jack was also fully aware that he could never be on the front line again.

It was this doubt that was overshadowing their otherwise perfect situation.

When Jake got back they had some supper and then spent the evening watching movies. Jake turned out to be just as much of a Star Wars fan as Teal’c had been, much to Jack’s disgust and it came as no surprise when Jack fell asleep and began softly snoring on the sofa beside Sam.

They woke the following morning having once again spent the night together. Jack was reluctant to let Sam out of his arms, knowing that for the moment, once they got back onto the base they would have to resume a professional relationship. They weren’t in the same chain of command, but some would still frown upon a personal relationship between the two and he didn’t want to damage Sam’s reputation.

Finally, after Sam managed to tear herself away from Jack’s skilful fingers, she slipped out of bed and headed for the shower. If he’d been fully fit he would have joined her in an instant but as it was, he made do with the fact that she’d deliberately left the bathroom door open so that he could watch her as her soapy hands glided up and down her glistening body.

Once dry, Sam dressed and came to sit beside him on the bed.

“I can’t get over how beautiful you are,” he smiled, as she leaned down and kissed him softly.

“You’re not so bad yourself, flyboy.”

Jack laughed, “It’s a long time since I’ve heard that.”

She patted him on the chest and then stood, searching for the shoes that she’d kicked off the previous night.

“You better get ready if you want some breakfast before we head off,” Sam said, as she slipped her feet into her shoes.

“Yep, I’ll be out soon,” Jack replied as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and prepared to muster the energy to stand and begin the day.

xXx

With Jake dropped off at school, Jack and Sam drove back to Groom Lake. When they got there, he declined the use of the wheelchair, instead opting for the crutches. He felt energised after the weekend and whilst it was still a monumental struggle, he managed, with a little help from Sam to make it to the Medical Suite.

Monica was there to greet them and couldn’t help but notice that they both seemed much more relaxed than they had done when they’d left on the previous Friday.

“Colonel O’Neill, you’re doing great. You must really have been exercising hard over the weekend,” the nurse congratulated him.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe how hard it’s been.” He glanced over at Sam who was turning a rather alarming shade of pink. “Colonel Carter just _would not_ let up. Have you ever tried saying no to her?”

“Well, it’s obviously done you the world of good. You need to keep it up.”

“ _Oh_... I intend to,” Jack smirked as he looked again at Sam who was trying her best to act as if she didn’t understand his innuendo.

“Let’s get you settled back in, shall we,” Sam tried to hurry him in the direction of his room.

Once inside she gave him a nudge in the back which caught him off guard and nearly sent him hurtling across the room.

“Hey, what was that for?” Jack asked, with a ridiculously innocent look on his face.

“Err, Like you don’t know,” Sam stood there sternly. “ _Oh, you wouldn’t believe how hard it’s been,”_ she mimicked his voice. “ _Colonel Carter just would not let up_.”

Jack gave her one of his most adorable smiles and Sam couldn’t help but find it funny, but she gently reminded him, “We agreed that we’d be professional when we got back here.”

“Yeah… we did. And we will,” Jack assured her, apologetically.

Sam placed his hold all on the bed and Jack sat down on the edge, exhausted after his walk from the car.

“Join me for lunch?” he looked hopefully towards Sam.

“I’ll see if I can fit you into my schedule,” she joked and as she turned to leave, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him.

At the door, Monica stopped just before pushing it open as she looked through the window and saw Sam lean into Jack and place a chaste kiss on his lips. She moved away quickly as Sam headed towards her and pretended to just have arrived there when the door swung open and Sam stepped out.

Sam smiled at the nurse and then headed off to her lab. Jack pushed his bag off the bed and swung his legs up, shuffling backwards until his back rested on the pillows. Monica walked into the room and grabbed one of the obs trolleys before heading his way to update his records.

“Time to take your temperature, Colonel O’Neill,” she said cheerily.

“Of course it is,” Jack grumbled.

 “I have a feeling it’s going to be raised,” she chuckled to herself.

Jack looked at her quizzically before lying back and closing his eyes.

xXx

For the next few weeks, Jack worked hard with his physio and eventually got to a stage where he could walk with a crutch, no longer needing the wheelchair. The counselling sessions continued until he reached a point where the psychologist was happy to discharge him, on the understanding that if he felt that he needed to, he could re-refer himself for further counselling.

His weekends were mainly spent at Sam’s, only occasionally did he stay on base. He continued to nurture his relationship with Jake who seemed more than comfortable in his company. However, Jack and Sam kept their relationship a secret from him, because Sam felt that it was still too soon for the young boy to understand. The last thing she wanted was for Jake to think that she had just replaced his Dad with the first man that came along.

Both Daniel and Teal’c made contact with Jack and they shared a few video calls with each other in which arrangements were made to meet up in Colorado Springs. Jack had a few things to sort out with his house, so it seemed a good idea to combine the two.

A few weeks before the arranged “Team Night” Jack was visited on several occasions by the big brass from the Pentagon. Sam was aware of the meetings, but she didn’t press Jack for any details, she knew that he would tell her in his own time. She did note however that his mood had changed. He became a little withdrawn and cancelled on her for lunch on more than one occasion. It wasn’t like him and she knew that he had something on his mind. He was a creature of habit and one of his coping mechanisms was to withdraw into himself. No matter how hard Sam tried to get him to open up, he wasn’t prepared to talk about it.

The weekend before their trip to Colorado, Jack had to stay on base to undergo evaluations. Sam offered to come back after Jake’s baseball game on the Saturday, but Jack wouldn’t hear of it and told her that he’d fill her in on what happened when she made it back to base the following Monday.

Sam spent a restless couple of days at home, wondering how Jack was getting on and if he was managing to keep his cool. He made no effort to disguise the fact that he had little time for doctors and when it came to medical evaluations, he very rarely hid his feelings from the unsuspecting medics.

As soon as Sam got back to Groom Lake she went immediately to see Jack. He was in the middle of his breakfast but stopped to give her a huge smile when she entered his room.

“Hey, I missed ya,” he mumbled with a mouth full of porridge.

“Missed you too. It wasn’t the same without you. Jake missed you as well.” Sam sat on the edge of his bed and sneaked a slice of toast off his plate.

“You missed breakfast?” Jack asked, concerned.

“I wanted to get here, to find out how you got on,” she explained.

“They’re gonna tell me today. Seems I’m getting a visit from one of the bigwigs in Washington too. Didn’t know I was still so important,” he added, distracted by the way Sam was licking her lips after finishing off the toast.

“Okay, I’ll see you for lunch then,” Sam stated, trying not to show how concerned she was about his meeting.

“Yeah, but I’ll meet you in the canteen. Maybe we can have something to eat by the pond?”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you at 1.” Sam sneaked a quick kiss, then set off to get on with her day.

By lunchtime, Sam was mentally exhausted after going over every possible scenario that they might offer him. Some of them were good but most of them involved a move away from Nevada. They’d been getting on so well and were almost at the stage that they felt that they wanted to tell Jake about their feelings for one another. Sam knew that Jack would soon be discharged from medical care and he would need somewhere to stay. The logical thing, would be for him to move in with her but they hadn’t even discussed it and she started to doubt whether he would want to make such a commitment. Finally, having messed up too many of the diagnostics that she was trying to run she gave up and told her team that she was taking an extended lunch.

Jack made his way slowly to the canteen and picked up a couple of sandwiches and some drinks to take outside for Sam and himself.

During the morning he’d been visited by the Chief Medical Officer and given the results of his evaluations. Shortly after, he’d had his meeting with a representative from the Joint Chiefs and he mulled over how exactly his life was going to move forward from then on.

He waited in the corridor for Sam and he saw her in the distance as she walked towards him. Jack raised his hands to show Sam what he’d got them, “I got us lunch, shall we go outside?”

Sam nodded, and they walked to the pond, neither one of them talking much.

They ate their lunch in a companionable silence but once it was finished and they were both reluctant to start up a conversation, the atmosphere became awkward.

Jack looked across the pond at the ducks that were happily bobbing their heads in the water and he decided that there was no point putting off telling Sam his news.

“I didn’t pass the psych or physical evaluations for active duty. Seems I’m a liability… damaged goods,” he groused, even though he had known that he would fail both assessments. He would never be 100% physically and it had been a long time if truth be known that he had been in good shape mentally. Janet had always managed to swing it for him. She’d known the right arguments to use and he had been too valuable to the SGC.

“Are you okay with that?” Sam asked, concerned about jack’s reaction to the news.

“It’s no great surprise. Doesn’t take a genius to know that I’m not fit to be part of a front-line team. I am sixty-two, remember,” he smiled.

“So, do you know what they have in mind for you?” Sam was undecided about whether she wanted to know, but one thing was for sure, she couldn’t carry on in the distracted state that she had been all morning.

“I had a visit from the Joint Chiefs.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah… seems I’m still a valuable asset, even though I’m no good in the field. The President wants to personally thank me for what I did, so I’m being promoted to General.”

This certainly wasn’t something that Sam had anticipated, and her stomach lurched at the news.

Sam’s silence wasn’t a good sign as far as jack was concerned and he knew that the next piece of news he had to impart would likely send her over the edge. There was no easy way to say it, so it was best just to cut to the chase.

“They want me to head up the military side of the Research and Development Project.” There he’d said it and now he just waited for Sam to catch up, which wouldn’t take long, as she was way more intelligent than him and he’d realised the implications instantly.

“So, you’ll be my superior again and we’ll be in the same chain of command,” Sam pointed out, dejectedly.

“I haven’t given them an answer yet.”

“No, but you’re considering it.” Sam began to pace by the side of the pond. “You had an idea that they were going to offer you this, didn’t you? That’s why you went all Fifth Amendment on me after the last visit from Washington, isn’t it?”

Jack just looked at her, she was angry and nothing he said would make any difference.

“I know you too well, Jack. Your country has always come before anything else. I just thought that this time, with everything that’s happened and everything you could lose, things might be different.”

When Jack just stood there looking blankly at her, she turned to leave.

“Sam wait, just listen...” But she strode purposefully away from him and this time he got angry. “Damn it... _Colonel_!”

Turning sharply, Sam hissed, “You haven’t been promoted yet, so don’t you _dare_ pull rank on me.” She shot him a fierce glare before hurrying away not wanting him to see the ugly tears that were threatening to pour down her cheeks.

Jack kicked angrily at the loose stones that surrounded the pond and as they scattered and landed, they sent ripple upon ripple which converged across the water.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to those of you who are still reading, leaving comments and giving me kudos on the story. There's one chapter left after this one and I hope to get it posted next weekend.


	12. Chapter 12

Jack shoved his clothes unceremoniously into his bag and yanked the zip shut roughly. He cursed when it snagged on one of his t-shirts and knew he’d ripped a hole when he forced it shut.

His mood was dark, and he was conflicted, in two minds whether or not he should just head off for the weekend without Sam.

Ever since he broke the news about his promotion, she’d given him the cold shoulder. She hadn’t even spent enough time in his presence to give him a chance to explain or tell her the other options that had been made available to him.

The medical team had authorised his trip to Colorado Springs and had also told him that when he returned, the wheels would be put in motion for his discharge from medical care. This of course left him with the dilemma of finding accommodation if he accepted the position at Area 51 or moving back to Colorado if he didn’t.

There had been much discussion about whether he should be allowed to reappear in Colorado Springs. However, his immediate neighbours had either died or moved on and as he had spent so little time off base when he was on SG1, he’d managed to convince the Head of Groom Lake that him reappearing, looking the same as he had 10 years ago, was no threat to either National awareness or security.

He desperately wanted to discuss the future with Sam, but he figured it was best to get the reunion over with first. With his bag packed, he slung it over his shoulder and grabbed the crutch that was propped up against his bed.

“Have a good weekend, Colonel,” Monica said, as he made his way out.

“I’ll do my best,” he shrugged, less than enthusiastically.

The nurse could tell that things weren’t right between him and Colonel Carter. It had been days since she’d visited him. It saddened her as it was obvious to anyone who knew them that they made each other ridiculously happy. The doors swung closed and Monica headed to his room to change his sheets and give it a bit of a spruce up.

He considered just going straight to the foyer where there would be a car available to take him where he needed to go. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave without seeing her. The last few weeks had been some of the best of his life and after deciding that he _was_ in fact good enough for Sam and her son, he didn’t want to lose that. There had to be a way that they could negotiate the tricky situation that they found themselves in and he was more than a little disappointed that Sam was being so stubborn.

Sam’s lab was at the end of an extremely long corridor at the far side of the facility. He’d been there a couple of times, but he tended to avoid it as he knew that she didn’t like him hanging around, annoying her.

Out of breath and breathing rather heavily, he poked his head around the door and could see that she was engrossed in some strange looking device.

“Whatcha doin’?” he grinned, trying to be as boyish and likeable as possible.

After giving him a dismissive glance, Sam launched into a highly technical explanation of her current project.

“Sweet...” he shook his head and then raised his hand.  “So, you gonna come with... or you gonna stay here and play with your doohickeys?” her explanation had made his head hurt, so he figured it was best to cut to the chase.

“Don’t make fun of me, Jack.” It was obvious that she was in no mood for his sarcasm.

“I wasn’t... honest... you know me and technology,” Jack shrugged his shoulders.

Sam threw him a look which left him under no illusion that she was fully aware of his dislike for technobabble, so the question that sprung to mind was, why on Earth was he considering accepting a position in R&D.

Deciding to avoid an argument, he tried another approach. “Look, I’m pretty damn sure that Teal’c and Daniel are gonna wanna see you more than they wanna see me.”

“I’ll follow you up on Saturday. There’s stuff I need to finish off here,” she answered him bluntly.

“Okay, if that’s what you wanna do,” Jack pushed himself away from the door that he’d been leaning on and disappeared. He’d tried.

 _Was that it_ , she thought. He wasn’t going to fight harder. In her mind he really had already made his decision and this was his way of distancing himself. It never once crossed her mind that she was sending the exact same signals out to Jack.

xXx

The taxi cab rolled to a stop outside his house. Jack could feel his chest tighten and beads of perspiration form on his brow. He was still suffering from the odd panic attack and it was at this moment that he wished he’d tried harder to convince Sam to travel with him. He needed her.

“Hey, buddy. You gonna sit in here all day?” The gruff, grouchy driver barked at Jack.

“Uh... sorry, no,” Jack handed over his money and retrieved his crutch and bag from the trunk.

The exterior of the house had changed very little. It was a little shabby here and there, the trees and shrubbery had definitely grown, but it was obvious that it had been being looked after.

Turning the key, he took a deep breath before pushing the slightly creaky door open. Inside, it was just as he had left it. Everywhere was clean and tidy but it felt cold and unlived in. He walked through to the kitchen and out of habit he pulled open the fridge door. Of course, it was empty but for some irrational reason, he expected to see his favourite beer waiting for him. Another reason why he knew that Sam should have travelled with him. He had no way of getting supplies.

 _Ah well_ , he thought. At least she wouldn’t be able to criticise him on his unhealthy food choices, when take away was the only option open to him.

With his bag unpacked, he made it to the lounge and then slumped down heavily on the sofa. The journey had taken it out of him and it still irritated him that physically he wasn’t as well as he should have been.

He glanced around the room at the photos and his eye came to rest on one of him and Charlie. They’d been playing baseball and Charlie looked so innocent and happy. He began to wonder what Sara was doing now and if she’d ever made any enquiries about him. Perhaps he’d try to find out, although he probably wouldn’t ever be allowed to contact her. As he relaxed, his eyelids became heavy and before long he’d fallen asleep on the sofa, his head lolled back, and he began to snore softly.

xXx

“Is this what you need, Colonel carter?” the technician asked.

“Sorry… what did you say?” Sam replied, a little confused as she looked up from her daydream to see a young man holding an odd-looking contraption.

“Is this the device that you asked me to find for you?” he explained.

“Oh, yes, yes, that’s it… thank you,” Sam answered, still distracted by her thoughts.

The more she’d thought about Jack, the more she realised that she hadn’t treated him well. If he really was trying to distance himself from her, he could have gone off to Colorado without even telling her. There wasn’t time now for her to follow on today, but she decided that she would make arrangements to get there early the following day. That way she’d be there when Teal’c and Daniel arrived. She had a feeling that Jack was going to need all the support that he could get.

There was plenty left to do, but as far as Sam was concerned, she wasn’t the head of department for nothing. She packed up her things and headed out, that way she could spend some time with Jake before she had to leave.

xXx

Waking abruptly, Jack looked around disorientated. It took him a few minutes before his brain caught up and he realised that he was back at his house. He pushed himself up from the awkward position that he had slipped down to on the sofa. He’d slept for practically the whole night and now he was cold and aching. Grabbing his crutch, he pushed himself up and made his way to the kitchen. He cursed again as he realised that there was no coffee let alone any milk to put into it.

First things first though, he needed to get the house warmed up. He used to keep a pile of wood outside the back door. Was it too much to ask that there would still be some there and it would be dry enough to use to make a fire. To his surprise, there was still a small pile. He brought it in and placed it in the grate. Before long he’d set a lovely roaring fire and sat for a while just staring into the dancing flames. He’d always been the one tasked with setting the fires when they were off world. No one seemed to be able to get them going as quickly as he could. He began to think about Daniel and Teal’c. He was keen to see them, but he was also a little apprehensive. God, he wished Sam was with him.

With the fire crackling and spitting he sat back down on the sofa. There was little point going to bed. In an hour or so he would have to set about making sure the rooms were ready for his visitors. They were staying overnight and then he’d be returning to Area 51. With a million things whirling around his brain, he closed his eyes once again and drifted off to sleep.

xXx

Sitting bolt upright, Jack realised by the bright sunlight that was streaming through the windows, that he had fallen asleep for a second time, far longer than he had intended. He also realised by the slightly impatient knock on the door that it had been that, that had woken him from his slumber.

Groaning in pain he pushed himself up from the sofa. He ran his fingers through his hair to tame the unruly tufts and then pulled the front door open.

“Sam?” he was taken aback to see her standing on his doorstep. “I didn’t expect you ‘til later.”

He swung the door open wider and Sam stepped into the foyer.

“Yeah, I know. I just thought… well, that maybe you might want someone here when the team arrives?”

“Sure… I mean great, yeah… er,” Jack was feeling flustered, he hadn’t expected her until much later. “I don’t have anything to offer you… I mean to drink… I don’t have any coffee or anything.”

“Right, make a list of everything you need, and I’ll head out to the store,” Sam smiled.

xXx

A short while later, Sam returned laden with groceries. With a packed fridge and two beers in their hands, they sat down in a not completely comfortable silence.

“So, what time do you expect the guys?” Sam asked.

“Soon,” Jack answered, between gulps.

“You okay... I mean about seeing them?” Sam pressed. She wasn’t keen on his monosyllabic dialogue.

“Sure. It’s just like I haven’t seen them for a few weeks, no sweat,” his uncertain look betrayed the fact that he was actually apprehensive, but ever the soldier, she knew that he was trying not to expose his weakness.

Jack’s bottle was soon empty, and he made a move to get himself another.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Sam asked, concern evident in her tone.

“Why not?” Jack snapped back, a little too grumpily.

“You’ve not been used to it and you’ll have plenty of time during the day,” she was surprised by his brusque manner.

Sighing, he sat down and leaned back in the sofa, his hands clasped between his thighs, head bowed.

“This is what I didn’t want to happen, Jack. I don’t see why we have to fight?”

Jack’s head snapped up. “Hey, I’m not the one that’s been going out of their way to keep their distance.”

“You _know_ why. I told you that I couldn’t lose you again.”

“Who said anything about losing me?” he couldn’t hide the exasperation in his voice.

“Come on Jack, you know the implications of what you’ve been offered. I can’t do it again. Having you there every day but not being able to _have_ you.”

“Sam, you’ve got to believe me, I want to be everything that you need me to be,“ somehow, to his relief, Jack found the words that usually eluded him.

“You can’t _be_ that person as my superior officer, we both know that and yet you’re still thinking about it... aren’t you,” she spat.

Jack sat up and turned towards Sam, “If you’d just let me expl...” A sharp knock on the door stopped him in his tracks.

Sam took some deep breaths to calm herself. Her face was red and Jack realised that she’d either been about to let rip or burst into tears. Once composed, she headed for the door and swung it open.

There, as imposing as ever, stood Teal’c with Daniel lurking slightly behind him.

xXx


	13. Chapter 13

“Colonel Carter,” Teal’c greeted her in his deep soothing voice. “It is good to see you.”

“Teal’c,” Sam managed to croak out, before eagerly wrapping her arms around his broad neck. She was so happy to see her old friend.

Daniel shuffled uncomfortably on the spot and stared at his own feet, until she released the big Jaffa and then looked in his direction.

“Daniel.”

“Sam, it’s great to see you,” Daniel took a step forward, but Sam stepped back into the house on the pretence of letting them through.

She wasn’t one to bear grudges, but she still couldn’t forget how he’d told her that she was wasting her time waiting for Jack to wake up and that she should move on with her life. They’d rarely spoken in the last ten years and she couldn’t just pretend that his words hadn’t hurt her, and at a time when she had needed her friends around her to give support, not ridicule.

Sam shut the door behind them and ushered the two men into the lounge where Jack stood, tentatively. He was tempted to try and walk without the crutch, still embarrassed by his disability but common sense prevailed when he realised it was better to use it than land flat on his face in front of his former team members.

 “T!” he grinned widely.

“Colonel O’Neill,“ Teal’c nodded and the briefest of smiles curled his lips.

“Hey, cut the Colonel crap, it’s Jack.” He reached out his hand and the two grasped each other’s forearms, then Teal’c wrapped his arms around a surprised Jack. “What’s with the hair?” Jack gestured to the streak of silver at the side of Teal’c’s head as they parted.

“It is a story of very great length, O’Neill,” Teal’c replied, solemnly.

“Ah... one of those,” Jack nodded, as if he understood completely. “Maybe another time then.”

Jack turned then to Daniel, who definitely _did_ look older than he had remembered him. Sam had filled him in on the many things that had happened to Daniel over the last few years. His life had been anything but ordinary and maybe some of the experiences he’d had to endure had taken their toll.

“Danny boy, you look… great,” Jack hesitated before pulling Daniel into a close embrace.

Daniel reciprocated and slapped Jack’s back before holding the remarkably un-aged man away by the upper arms.

“Jack… it’s really great to see you. Look at you, you don’t look a day older.”

“I’ve been moisturising,” Jack joked and pointed his finger at Daniel’s face. “You should try it, you know.”

The two men laughed, as Sam walked over to the table and picked up the beer bottles without saying a word.

“Come… Sit.” Jack gestured towards the sofa and chairs.

“Do you want me to take the bags down to the guest rooms?” Sam shouted over to Jack, who had just settled himself in one of the armchairs.

Teal’c immediately stood and took the bags from Sam. “I will take them. Please join Colonel O’Neill and Daniel Jackson on the sofa.”

Sam smiled at Teal’c and went to sit next to Daniel who shuffled over to give her some room.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it to Pete’s funeral, Sam. How are things? How’s Jake?” Daniel asked, showing genuine concern.

“We’re doing okay,” Sam glanced up and caught Jack’s eye. “Jake’s a tough kid, we’ve helped each other through it.”

“Yeah, just like his Mom,” Daniel squeezed Sam’s knee and then looked over at Jack. “So, it must have been… _odd_ , seeing Sam again.” Daniel registered Jack and Sam’s awkward interactions with great interest.

“I guess. I mean it’s been tricky coming to terms with everything but I’m glad there was a familiar face waiting for me.” Jack glanced at Sam who flashed him an uneasy smile.

“Yeah,” Daniel sighed and looked at Sam. “She never gave up hope, not once. You were right, Sam.”

“Is that an apology?” Sam snapped.

“If you want it to be,” Daniel squirmed.

“No, what I want is for you to admit that you were wrong. You hurt me, Daniel. I needed you but all you did was mock me.”

“I didn’t _mock_ you Sam. You had Pete to support you, but then, he was never really good enough, was he?”

“Hey, hey… what the hell is this?” Jack raised his arms, palms upwards. He hadn’t anticipated World War Three breaking out in his house.

Sam looked pointedly at Daniel who was looking equally as angry as she was. “Daniel told me that I was wasting my time. He said that I should move on. I should stop visiting you.”

“Because it was affecting your ability to lead the team, Sam. I knew it, Landry knew it and you knew it. Don’t try and say you didn’t.”

Jack watched bemused as the two people who had once treated each other as family tore strips off each other, all apparently, because of him.

“Guys, GUYS! This was supposed to be a happy reunion. Food, drink… cake! Can you please cut it out… you’re giving me a headache.”

Both Daniel and Sam relaxed back into the sofa just as Teal’c returned to the lounge.

“I detect a large amount of tension in this room,” the Jaffa stated, as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Ya don’t say,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Listen, I’m sorry Sam. I was out of line. Let’s just enjoy today… okay?” It wasn’t exactly an apology, but it was a start and Sam eased off, nodding her head.

“Right, campers, who wants an O’Neill special… char… _grilled_ steak, vegetables and fries?” Jack grinned. “Just need to check that the grill’s still okay. Should be in the garage.”

“I’ll check it out, Jack,” Daniel offered. “Will you give me a hand Teal’c?”

Teal’c nodded and they set about their task.

As soon as the two men had closed the back door behind then, Jack turned to Sam who was now in the kitchen making herself useful.

“Since when did things get so stressy between you and Daniel?” he asked, a little surprised by Sam’s reaction.

“Since he decided he knew how I should live my life.” She started to noisily gather utensils and plates in the kitchen.

“Sounds like he was only trying to help you.”

“Yeah well, I didn’t need that kind of help. He was there, he saw what you did and what happened to you afterwards. He should have had more faith.” Cutlery clattered to the floor as her temper got the better of her.

“And what he said about Pete?” Jack persisted.

“It was _none_ of his business,” she shouted angrily, her heart beginning to race. “Sorry,” Sam took a deep breath and leaned back against the countertop. “I didn’t want this to happen. It’s not fair on you. Just forget it, okay?”

Jack stood and made his way over to Sam. He reached out to comfort her, but she pulled away from him and turned to gather up the plates.

“Sam, don’t push me away. What we have, it’s too good to just blow it over…“ The back door flew open as Daniel and Teal’c barged in, eager to tell them that the grill was, incredibly, still in working order.

“Oh… did we interrupt something?” Daniel said, less than tactfully.

“NO!” Both Jack and Sam turned and answered in unison.

“Ooookay, well, I assume that you want to set it all up, Jack. From what I remember you’re very territorial over your grill. Teal’c’ll help you… won’t you Teal’c?” Daniel said pointedly towards the stern-faced Jaffa.

“Indeed, Daniel Jackson.”

“And I’ll help Sam prepare the vegetables,” Daniel announced without further discussion.

xXx

The vegetables and potatoes were prepared in silence, as Sam and Daniel worked around each other, warily.

Daniel kept looking over in her direction, concerned by how unhappy she appeared to be. He knew that he’d hurt her and he had meant to contact her before now but whenever he’d been about to, he couldn’t seem to find the right words. Time had passed by and he thought he had left it too late.

“Look Sam, I know I was wrong, but I honestly thought I was trying to help you. If I’d thought for one moment that Jack would be okay I would never have said those things to you. I don’t want us to fight, I care about you too much for that. I’ve let you both down.”

Sam put down the tray of potatoes and looked at Daniel with tear filled eyes. She stretched out her arms and Daniel pulled her to him.

“Hey, hey, I don’t want to make you cry either,” Daniel spoke in a soothing voice as he rubbed her back warmly.

“It’s not you. Just ignore me,” Sam sniffed, sadly.

“Is this about Pete? I know it must still be raw.”

Sam shook her head, “No, Jake and I really are doing okay. He misses Pete but he’s being so strong.”

“And you?” Daniel asked.

All she could do was turn away. She knew that Daniel would judge her for not being more distraught about Pete’s death, but she’d come to terms with it. She would never forget Pete and she was sorry about what had happened to him, but for Jake’s sake more than her own.

“You and Jack have finally got it together… haven’t you?” Daniel asked bluntly.

“Kind of… “

“I knew it!” Daniel danced around excitedly, like a small boy.

“At least, I thought we were, but he’s been offered a job at Area 51 in R&D,” Sam explained.

“But that’s good isn’t it?” he stilled his happy dance as he sensed that all was not well.

“Not when he’s being promoted to General and he’ll be my Commanding Officer again,” Sam sighed.

“Ah… I see your predicament.”

“Yep.”

“Is he going to accept the job. I mean, why would he do that after everything that’s happened?”

“Because he’s Jack O’Neill, that’s why and he can’t seem to say no. Not even when he has so much to lose. I know he loves me, Daniel and I’ve told him how I feel, but it never seems to be enough.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” Daniel asked.

“What’s the point, he’ll do what _he_ wants to do, he always does.”

“I think you’re being a little unfair, Sam. Maybe he needs to know how much you want to be with him,” Daniel suggested, helpfully.

“Oh, I think he knows that already.” Sam managed a grin and made Daniel turn a lovely shade of red in the process.

“It’s worth a try though… don’t you think?” Daniel hugged Sam once again. “You two deserve to be happy, seriously, you should have got together about… sixteen years ago,” Daniel smirked and they both laughed at how ridiculous it sounded.

xXx

Plumes of smoke drifted in thick clouds above Jack’s head. The steaks hissed and sizzled furiously on the grill as Teal’c’s eyes stung and he looked concerned, raising one eyebrow.

“O’Neill, is it wise to pour your beverage over the burnt meat?” Teal’c enquired, confused by Jack’s behaviour.

“Sure, T, it enhances the flavour. Just wait, you’ll be beggin’ me for more,” Jack smirked, tipping some more of his beer over the steaks.

“That is unlikely, O’Neill.” The big man turned and looked out pensively over the garden.

“Somethin’ on your mind, T?” Jack had known Teal’c for long enough to realise when something was bothering him.

“Colonel Carter does not appear to be happy,” Teal’c turned and faced Jack who began to feel as if he was being scrutinised by the big man.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Jack squirmed uncomfortably.

“She is not herself.”

“Maybe she’s just… ya know, overwhelmed by all…” Jack flapped his arms around dramatically “… by all this.”

“I do not believe so,” Teal’c stated firmly.

“Go on then, tell me what _you_ think’s bothering her.”

“I believe it to involve _you_ , O’Neill.”

“Well, nothing gets passed you does it,” Jack muttered under his breath.

“Colonel Carter is very important, I do not like to see her distressed in this manner.”

“Neither do I, Teal’c. It’s the last thing I want.”

 “You and Colonel Carter are a partnership?” Teal’c enquired.

Jack flipped the steaks before answering his old friend. “Yeah, we are but things are complicated.”

“I do not see why.”

“Ahhh, T, it is a story of great length,” Jack chuckled to himself briefly, until he spotted the stern look on Teal’c’s face.

“She found it hard without you, O’Neill. I do not see why she should be unhappy now.”

Jack put down the tongs that he was holding and picked up his beer. He joined Teal’c by the fence and turned, leaning his back against it.

“She thinks she’s going to lose me again. I’d never do anything to hurt her, Teal’c.”

“I hope not, O’Neill.” The threat in Teal’c’s voice was very real and Jack was under no illusion that he was being warned by their mutual friend that if he messed up, he would have to answer to the Jaffa for his actions.

“We have a saying on Chulak – _As distance tests a beast’s strength, so time tests a person’s alliegance_ – Colonel Carter has remained true and she has not deserted you. I believe her feelings for you to be strong. There are few people who are given more than one chance of happiness. This is your time, O’Neill.”

“I know, Teal’c… I know,” Jack swallowed the last of his beer and went back to the grill.

xXx

With tensions forgotten, if only for a short while, the four friends enjoyed their meal. Teal’c even agreed that Jack’s steaks were at least edible.

After they’d washed up the dishes and put everything away, they decided to sit down and watch a movie. It was starting to feel just like old times. Daniel had already had too much to drink. It was clear that he hadn’t become any better at holding his alcohol, even though he was ten years older. Teal’c sat engrossed to “Star Wars” which had become a bit of a team night tradition and Jack and Sam kept giving each other lingering glances. Just like they had always done.

As the credits rolled on the film, Teal’c stood abruptly and yanked Daniel, who was virtually comatose by this time, up out of the sofa. “I shall see that Daniel Jackson gets to his room.” He nodded and then disappeared down the hallway with the archaeologist draped over him.

“I guess that went as well as could be expected,” Jack yawned and stretched, unable to hide his fatigue.

“Yeah, it’s been nice seeing them,” Sam agreed.

“Have you and Daniel made up?” Jack asked hesitantly.

“I think so,” Sam nodded. “Do you want a coffee?”

Jack rubbed his eyes and then ran his fingers through his unruly hair. “Nah, I’m calling it a night too.”

“Okay. I might just stay up a bit longer.”

Grabbing his crutch, Jack paused to drop a kiss on the top of Sam’s head before he dragged himself off to his room. He didn’t know if Sam would join him, he certainly wasn’t going to force her, but he thought that more than likely she would sleep in the other spare room. It had been days since they’d slept together, and he missed her desperately.

Undressing had been hard and by the time he lay down, Jack was exhausted. He lay on his back, hands behind his head looking up at the ceiling. The events of the day whirled in his mind. He’d handled it better than he thought he would, particularly as there had been some tense moments that he hadn’t anticipated.  

Teal’c had given him a lot to think about. His stoic friend wasn’t a man of many words, but when he spoke it was from the heart, Jack knew that, because he knew just how much they all cared about one another other. It was the one thing that had made them such a good team.

He rolled over and pulled the covers up to his chest. As he did so, there was a light tap at the door. He turned and saw Sam close the door behind her. She undressed quietly and then as Jack lifted the covers, she slipped into bed beside him.

Settling into him, Sam pulled Jack’s arms around her and whispered, “I love you.”

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there now! Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments, they are really appreciated.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is! The final chapter of my first and hopefully not last, Stargate story. Thank you to those of you who have stuck with it, given me kudos or left comments. I hope that it has at least been entertaining, if not action packed. I would love to hear what you thought about the story as a whole and whether you think I should have a go at writing anymore s/J fanfic!

Daniel and Teal’c left shortly after lunch to head back to the SGC. They’d tried to persuade Jack to pay a visit to Cheyenne Mountain before he left for Nevada, but he declined their offer. There would be very few faces left that he would recognise and he preferred to remember it the way it had been when they’d all been part of SG1.

Jack packed up his bag and disposed of the leftover food, whilst Sam got herself ready to go. Just as they were about to leave the house, there was a knock on Jack’s door. Opening it, he found a young man with unnaturally white teeth, smiling at him, not unlike the Cheshire Cat.

“Mr O’Neill,” he greeted Jack, grasping his hand tightly and shaking rather too vigorously.

“That’s right,” Jack replied, swiftly pulling his hand away.

“I’m Logan from the Real Estate Agents. Mr Edwards said you’d be expecting me.”

Sam looked on, confused by the conversation that was unfolding on Jack’s doorstep.

“Err... yeah, that’s right but I didn’t think you’d need to come in. We’re just about to leave.” Jack’s irritation was obvious to everyone apart from the realtor.

“No, it’s fine, I just need you to sign here.” He pressed an official looking form into Jack’s hand, “…just agreeing to the details you’ve already discussed with Mr Edwards and I can get the board up when you’ve gone.”

Jack quickly signed the document, flung it back at the Realtor and then shut the door on the eager young man.

Sam stared at Jack, who was looking anything but comfortable, hoping he would provide some explanation. When none was forthcoming she enquired, “You’re selling your house?”

Jack nodded and stooped down to pick up his bags.

“But you love this house.” She continued to stare at him, bewildered.

“I do... or, I should say… I _did_ , but that seems like a lifetime ago. It’s my past. I wanna concentrate on the future.”

“Didn’t you think to discuss it first. I mean, I know I have no real say in what you do but…” Sam shook her head, “I thought you just would.”

Jack shrugged his shoulders. “You didn’t seem bothered about what I decided to do, the last few days. Anyway, I sorted this out weeks ago. If I have to, I’ll buy a new place in Colorado Springs.”

“Seems like you have everything worked out.” Sam lifted her bag and flung the door open.

“Hey, just wait a minute,” Jack followed as quickly as he could after her. “You’re so confusing, do ya know that? You’re the one who hasn’t given me a chance.”

Sam had turned by this time and was about to reply when Jack continued, worked up and angered by Sam’s reaction.

“Jesus, Sam, I thought you’d be pleased. I thought it might make you see that I intend stickin’ around. I can’t do anything right.”

Closing her eyes, Sam dropped her head for a moment and took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, I was out of line.” Then she held out her hand and took Jack’s bag from him.

After one last sweeping glance around the house Jack closed the front door behind him.

He followed Sam’s lead towards the awaiting cab which would take them to the airport. As they settled into the back seat, Jack looked across at Sam who was still quiet and pensive. He reached out and threaded his fingers through Sam’s. He pulled her hand onto his thigh and gave her a warm smile.

“Trust me. I’m staying right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he once again tried to reassure her.

“I believe you, Jack. But that isn’t my biggest worry.”

“I know. I’ll sort it.”

Letting go of Sam’s hand he lifted his arm and coaxed her into him. She nestled comfortably against his side, her hand sliding across his chest as she rested her head against his for the remainder of the journey.

xXx

With sufficient progress having been made in Jack’s recovery it was decided that he be discharged from medical care. He told Sam that he would rent an apartment and she agreed that it might be for the best, until things were finally decided. And so he did.

He’d been slightly hurt at first. It wasn’t that he just took for granted that he’d move in with Sam, but he had hoped that the offer would be on the table. He knew there were lots of things to consider, Jake being the most important one and of course, Sam still doubted his resolve to stand firm over their relationship when it came to accepting or rejecting a job offer.

However, Jack O’Neill, ever the optimist (at least sometimes), determined that they would make the best of the situation and as they hadn’t really been able to act like a normal couple when he was still in the hospital, now was the time.

Sam felt her phone buzz. She cursed, then put down the tuna sandwich that she was gulping down and plucked her phone from her pocket.

Smiling when she saw Jack’s name she read,

“You – me… dinner tonight. I’ve asked Lisa if she can take Jake for a sleepover. Hope that’s ok?         She was more than happy to! Pick you up at 7. DON’T be late. Love you xx”

It was a new side to Jack that she hadn’t really seen before. Beneath his gruff, sometimes impenetrable exterior was a surprisingly romantic, gentle man. She doubted it actually came naturally to him, but she appreciated the effort he was going to for her.

xXx

“Mom!” Jake shouted up the stairs. “Jack’s here.”

Sam smoothed down her dress and took a last look at herself in the mirror. Yep, she wasn’t bad for 46. All the gruelling training sessions over the years had at least ensured that she still had a good figure. It was something that she was immensely grateful for, considering she was to all intents and purposes only 6 years younger than Jack, rather than the 16 that she used to be. She didn’t for one minute believe that he had eyes for anyone but her, but she was acutely aware that _he_ was an extremely attractive man and always drew the attention of other women.

Jake opened the door and immediately gave Jack a huge hug.

“Hey kiddo. How was school today?” Jack asked, as he prised Jake’s arms from around his waist.

“Good, thanks. Our math teacher was sick, so we got to skip a test,” Jake answered cheerily.

“Sweet… sounds like a result,” Jack smiled. “Where’s your Mom?”

“Still getting ready,” Jake sighed. “She’s been up there for hours.”

Jack laughed and walked over to the kitchen where Lisa was busy cleaning up.

“Hey, Lisa. Thanks again for looking after Jake tonight.”

“It’s my pleasure, Jack. Are you planning something special,” Lisa grinned knowingly.

For some reason, Jack always ended up feeling very uncomfortable when he talked with the bubbly child minder. Maybe it was something about her predatory gaze, but he got the feeling that she would eat him alive if she got even half a chance.

“Err, just dinner, nothing special,” Jack stuttered nervously.

“Mmmm hmmm, Sam’s a lucky lady, I sure hope she’s treating you right.” Jack backed away as Lisa started to walk her fingers up his arm, but he was saved by Sam’s timely entrance into the kitchen.

With his mouth agape, he gave Sam an appreciative once over. She looked gorgeous and not for the first time he was reminded of the fact that _he_ was in fact the lucky one.

After making sure that Jake had everything he needed for his sleepover, Sam and Jack waved him off as he left with Lisa. Even though there had been many times when Jake had spent the night away from her, it still made her slightly uneasy. Her son hadn’t seemed to mind though and she knew that Lisa would look after him as if he was her own.

“Would you like a drink before we go?” Sam shouted through to Jack from the kitchen. Jack’s sudden appearance made her jump as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He began to lightly kiss her neck and Sam leaned her head back to allow him better access.

“Mmmmmm, you smell amazing,” he growled.

His lips travelled down her neck and along her shoulder as she found herself thankful for the fact that she’d decided to put on one of her skimpier dresses. A days’ worth of growth on his chin sent delicious chills down her spine as it brushed against her delicate skin.

“Carry on like this…” Sam said through breathless gasps “and we’ll never make it to dinner.”

“I’m not sure I’m hungry anymore… not for food anyway,” Jack groaned and pushed his hips into her, making Sam extremely turned on.

“As nice as this is, and this _really_ is nice,” Sam moaned as his hands began to travel up her body until they cupped her full breasts. “God Jack…” she gasped his name, “…but I was really looking forward to going out with you.”

Jack kissed her neck one last time and then took a step backwards. Sam turned and instantly threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. Her hand reached behind his head and she drew him to her. She kissed him deeply, her tongue pressing against his lips until they parted allowing her access, then their tongues swirled and jostled together, tasting each other. Jack’s teeth gently nipped her bottom lip and his hand glided down her back, he could feel her tremble slightly through the flimsy material of her dress.

“You know…” he whispered into her mouth, “this isn’t helping.”

Sam sighed and let her forehead rest gently against his, “No, it isn’t.” She cupped his face between her hands.  “Let’s go get some dinner.”

xXx

The restaurant was quiet, which suited Jack. They were shown to a small booth near the back of the faintly lit room. It was intimate and cosy, just what he’d hoped for. They sat opposite each other and Jack reached out his hand for Sam’s. She happily accepted, and they perused the menu with their hands linked.

The waiter took their order and returned shortly afterwards with their meal. Just being out together in full view made them feel like a normal couple. This had been what they had both wanted for years but it would never have been possible prior to Jack being in stasis.

Having made the inevitable mistake of asking Sam about her day, he promptly silenced her by pushing a spoonful of his dessert in the direction of her open mouth. Not exactly the most romantic gesture in the world but he would swear that she used her unnecessarily long technobabble words on purpose just to annoy him.

The waiter cleared their plates and brought them coffee, at which point Jack moved across to Sam’s side of the table and placed a tender kiss on her cheek. “This was nice.”

“Yeah, it was. It’s just great not having to hide away,” Sam agreed.

Jack chuckled as he looked around at their secluded position in the dimly lit restaurant.

“You know what I mean,” Sam grinned and nudged him in the ribs. “Anyway, sometimes it has its advantages.” Her hand, that had previously been teasing him, resting on his knee, gradually made its way up his thigh.

“Mmmm, there’s a lot to be said for hiding away.” Jack slid his arm over Sam’s shoulder and kissed her deeply.

“Sam?” he reluctantly broke their kiss.

“Mmmm..” she sighed, immersed in his blissful ministrations.

“I got a call today. I’m going to Washington the day after tomorrow. The President wants to thank me personally and then I have to give the Joint Chiefs my decision.”

“Way to go to spoil the moment,” Sam groused pulling slightly away from him.

“I know, I’m sorry but I needed to tell you.”

She nodded and squeezed his hand, “It’s okay, we both knew it would happen sooner rather than later.”

“I’m not gonna risk losing you, I mean it,” Jack brought Sam’s hand up to his lips.

“I believe you Jack, but they have ways of persuading people. You know that more than most.”

“Maybe, but not this time. I’m done.” He pulled Sam to him once again and she settled into the crook of his arm.

“I have to admit though,” she glanced up at him. “I can think of some interesting scenarios where it’ll be good to call you _Sir,_ again,” Sam waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Jack groaned, the mere suggestion was enough to arouse him, “I’m sure you can read my mind.”

“Well... we could always pretend... _Sir_.”

“Sam Carter, you are a wicked, wicked woman,” Jack whispered, as he nuzzled her ear.

xXx

He drove them back to his apartment, which just happened to be nearest to the restaurant. Sam had helped him choose it, so she was familiar with the look and feel of his place. Even before they’d been together, before she’d lost him, she’d always enjoyed team nights at his house. There was something incredibly comforting about being a part of anything that belonged to him. He’d always made her feel safe, secure, whether it be in the field or those times when they were just Jack and Sam, not Colonel and Major.

“More coffee? Or something stronger?” Jack asked, as he pulled a beer out of the cooler for himself.

“Are you sure you should be having that, I don’t fancy a cab ride home.”

“You don’t have to go home, remember?”

“I don’t have anything with me though.” She lifted her arms then let them flop to her side.

“For what I have in mind, all you need is standing right here,” he gestured between the two of them. “Minus the dress.”

“Really?” Sam walked slowly towards him and took the beer bottle from his hand. She brought it to her lips and took a slow, seductive sip.

Jack watched as her lips surrounded the rim of the bottle, then she circled the top with her index finger before pressing it gently against his own lips.

“And _you_ need to lose...” her hand snaked down to the waist band of his pants, “...these,” and she popped the button.

“Forget the coffee.” He grabbed her hand and led her swiftly to the bedroom. Once inside, clothing was quickly abandoned as hands and fingers touched and stroked every available bit of naked skin.

They made love frantically and desperately as if it might be their last ever time. Finally, exhausted, Sam lay half across Jack with her leg draped between his own. She stroked the now damp, coarse hairs on his chest, letting her fingers tease and curl the longer wisps.

Jack stroked her hair and brushed it away from her forehead before kissing it softly. “You saved me, so many times. Nothing I can ever do will be enough.”

“Shhhh... this is enough. Just this.” Sam circled his nipple before letting her fingers wander down his torso.

“Maybe, but you deserve more.”

 

She stretched to look up at him and just for a moment she thought she saw his eyes glisten but then he looked away.

“I was thinking…” Sam pressed her hand over his heart. “Maybe we should tell Jake about, us. I think he has a pretty good idea already.”

“You sure? I thought you wanted to wait.” Jack pushed himself up slightly.

“No, I’ll tell him while you’re in Washington. I _know_ things are gonna work out.”

xXx

It had been a long time since Jack had donned his dress blues. Straightening his tie and placing his hat squarely on his head, he pulled the door to his apartment shut and headed off for Groom Lake. He had a couple of visits to make before he set off for Washington.

He pulled into the parking lot and quickly made his way inside. He wasn’t completely recovered but he no longer needed the support of the crutch to walk. As he strolled through the corridors he turned more than one pretty head. He still looked good in his uniform and the rigorous exercise regime that he had kept up even after being discharged from physio, had contributed to his athletic physique. He hadn’t looked in as good shape for years.

The doors to the Medical Suite swung open as he pushed lightly. There was no one around and the place seemed unusually quiet. He took hold of the bunch of flowers that he’d been carrying under his arm and he laid them on the Reception Desk, then rang the bell.

It wasn’t long before he heard footsteps from an adjoining room and then Monica appeared looking as bright as she normally did.

“Hello,” he greeted her a little sheepishly. His behaviour whilst he’d been under her care had been far from acceptable on occasions and he wanted to apologise.

“Colonel O’Neill… wow… you look great.” She was shocked to see how well he seemed to have recovered and damn, if he didn’t look hot.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m almost back to normal and that’s in no small part thanks to you, so here…” he picked up the flowers again and presented them to her. “For you. I’m sorry for being such a shit head of a patient.”

“You didn’t need to apologise, I know I would never have coped with half of the things you’ve had to put up with, but thanks.” She smiled and took the flowers from him, then he turned to go.

“One last thing, Colonel.” Jack stopped and faced her. “You and Colonel Carter, you’re going to be okay?”

“Undomesticated equines wouldn’t stop us from being okay, Monica,” he grinned at her confused expression and then gave a salute.

His next port of call was Sam’s office. He wanted to say goodbye even though he was only going for one night. As usual she was busy tapping away at the keys of her laptop. He knocked and then poked his head around the door. He’d kept one flower from the bunch he’d given to Monica and as Sam looked up he presented her with the single red rose.

“Why thank you, kind Sir,” Sam joked but deep down she was clearly touched by his thoughtfulness.

“Just wanted to say hi before I go,” Jack smiled, and his eyes twinkled.

“I’m glad you did. I’ll miss you.”

“Yep, me too but it’s only for a night. Are you going to tell Jake tonight?” Jack asked nervously, hoping that she hadn’t reconsidered her decision to tell her son about their relationship.

“Yes, its time he knew. I hope he’ll be happy for us. I just worry that he’ll think I don’t care about his Dad anymore.”

“He won’t, he’s a clever kid. He’ll never forget Pete because you won’t let him. You’re a great Mom, he’s lucky to have you and I know that he knows that.” Jack looked around to see if anyone was looking and then he leant forward and kissed her.

“Gotta go, there’s a plane with my name on it waiting for me on the runway.” He gave her a wide grin, winked at her and then he was gone.

Her stomach turned over uncomfortably. She trusted him implicitly now and knew that he would do what was best for them, but she still couldn’t stop one last niggling doubt.

xXx

Jack had been to the White House before, so he wasn’t phased by any of it. He’d rehearsed what he wanted to say whilst flying to Washington, so as soon as he got there he asked if he could speak privately to the President before he was to be officially promoted.

With a satisfactory outcome to the conversation, Jack was promoted to Brigadier General and the President thanked him for his service to his country. Jack was a proud man. He hadn’t always been so, but since he had been involved in the Stargate program, he had put his country first and foremost and would have sacrificed anything to keep it safe.

He had done enough now though. And between him and Sam, they had saved mankind more times than he cared to remember. Now it was _their_ time and he intended to make sure that nothing was going to stand in their way.

He spent the remainder of his time in Washington buying a couple of essential items before heading back to Nevada the following day. Whilst on the trip back he checked in with Sam and asked how her conversation with Jake had gone. She reassured him that her son was more than happy with them being together. His actual words being, “I thought you were never gonna get it together.” That boy was way too old for his years. They arranged that Jack would join them to eat that night.

It was late by the time he got into Nevada, so without changing, he went straight to Sam’s. It was almost time for dinner. But there was one thing that he needed to do before they could eat.

“Hey,” he kissed her on the cheek as he walked through the door. “Is it okay if I speak to Jake?”

“Sure, but first you need to tell me how it went… General O’Neill,” Sam smiled and flicked an imaginary speck of dirt from his uniform.

“Pretty good. I spoke with the President first. I told him I wanted to retire and that if he didn’t think it appropriate to promote me then it was okay. I also told him that we’d waited long enough to be happy. That we’d put our lives on hold long enough.”

“Wow… you didn’t hold back then.”

“Nope. Told you I wasn’t going to mess up. I also got an assurance from him that our relationship wouldn’t have a detrimental effect on your career. There _was_ one thing though. I had to agree to participate where new Ancient technology is procured but only on an ad hoc basis, as a consultant.”

“So, there’s no problem with _us_?” Sam asked.

“Nope, none,” Jack grinned and stroked Sam’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “Now, where’s Jake? I need to ask him something.”

Jake hurtled down the stairs when Sam called him. He hugged Jack as had become their usual routine and then Jack led him outside to sit on the steps of the decking.

“I know your Mom’s told you that we’re… well, we’re…” Jack frantically gestured with his hands in the hopes that he wouldn’t have to fully explain exactly what the nature of their relationship was.

“Boyfriend and girlfriend,” Jake finished his sentence much to Jack’s relief.

“Yeah, that’s right and I hope you know that I care about you and your Mom more than anything else in the world.?”

“Yeah, I know that, and I know that she loves _you_.”

“Yep. But she wants to make sure that you remember your Dad. I’ll never take his place there,” Jack reached out and touched Jake above his heart. “He’ll always be in there.”

Sam watched from the window as Jack talked to her young son who nodded intermittently. Then Jack reached out and handed Jake a small box before shaking his hand and pulling him into him, giving him a long hug.

The two of them walked back to the house hand in hand. Jake went straight to Sam and hugged her and then skipped up the stairs to his room.

“C’mere,” Jack held out his hand for Sam. She took it and he led her to the sofa. “You know I really suck at this sort of stuff but…” he laughed nervously before dropping down on one knee in front of her. Taking her left hand in his, he held it tightly then looked up into her brilliant blue eyes.

“Marry me.”

Sam’s free hand flew to her mouth as tears began to flow down her cheeks. She slipped from the sofa and joined Jack on her knees.

“I’ve made some mistakes, but I’ll never let you or Jake down. I already love him like he was my own son and I’ve loved you since the first time I set eyes on you.”

As he continued to speak, Sam nodded her head and flung her arms around his neck.

“Yes, yes, YES!” she crushed her lips against Jack’s. He fell backwards slightly and ended up with Sam virtually sitting in his lap. They both burst out laughing and then Jack put both fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly.

A clatter of loud footsteps heralded Jake’s descent. He walked over to Sam who had by now lifted herself off Jack. Jake held out the box that Jack had given him with one hand and with the other he opened it to reveal a delicate sapphire engagement ring.

Sam looked first at Jake and then at Jack who took the ring from the box and carefully placed it on Sam’s finger.

“It’s beautiful, Jack.”

“I chose it because of the colour. Does it remind you of anything?”

Sam laughed as she knew exactly what the colour reminded her of.

“It’s what brought us together in the first place, it’s only fitting,” Jack grinned and gave Jake a high five.

Jake flung his arms around them both and in that moment, Jack knew that he had finally banished his demons forever.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first foray into SG1 fanfic. I will apologise now for any inconsistencies or anything that isn’t feasible (like Jack surviving for ten years in a stasis pod!) Anyway, I hope it is at least readable and that some of you might want to read the next chapter. As always, I will be eternally grateful if you have the time to leave a review. Thank you.


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